Man am I dragging today! I have been fighting off a cold since the weekend that doesn't seem to want to come on full blast or go away, just kinda hanging around. Then on top of it now Izzy is sick! She came down with a congestion and a fever yesterday, started with waking up in middle of night sunday, then she had a fever yesterday so I stayed home with her all day. And last night she had an awful night. I basically had her in bed with me in teh spare bed from 2am till 6:30 this morning. What a restless night sleep for both of us. I don't know how parents share a bed with their kids, maybe it is just because Iz is not used to sharing a bed but she is horrible, moves constantly (even when asleep) and takes up more room then what would seem physcially possible for a little person! I am exhasuted!!!!
One of the things I find challenging about parenthood is deciding when to take her to the dr. My gut tells me it is just a cold and a low grade fever, but I am going out of town tomorrow on a business trip until friday and Iz will be with our sitter tomorrow and then my mom thurs and DH's mom Friday. So do I take her to the doctor this afternoon or tomorrow morning just to make sure it is not an ear infection...or do I just let it ride its course. I don't know why I have such trouble with this. I just called the Dr office and left a message with the nurse, waiting for a call back. She seemed a bit better this morning, really stuffy but her fever was gone, but my mom just called and her fever (low grade just under 1o1) is back now...
Having a sick kid with a stuffed up nose is the worst, there is virtually nothing I can do for her to help her. Can't really give her any meds other than tylenol or motrin which isn't going to help her congestion. Poor kid. And why does this always happen with either I or DH will be gone? Murphy's law I suppose.
UPDATE****I took her to the Dr, no ear infection and she seemed in a good mood when we got home just stuffed up. Well I put her to bed an hour ago and she is already awake and sounds AWFUL!!!!! How did she get so much worse in an hour, she now has a horrible sounding cough.......it is going to be a long night poor kid. I am already feeling guilty for leaving tomorrow and thinking about staying home from work and just leaving in time to go to the airport for my 5:00 flight...
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
Proud to Be an American!
I don't know about anyone else but i am SOOOO proud to be an American this morning! All of the reasons I have hated politicals or been apathetic towards politics disappeared yesterday! To see this country come out in record numbers, to listen to both McCain and Obama's speeches, truely moving!!!! I have never been as proud as I am today to be an American. To see the rest of the worlds reaction to the election results is truely inspiring, not only is our country excited for the future, but the rest of the world is as well!
I have never been one to listen to political speeches, but I watched and googled both speeches from last night this morning (I fell asleep just shy of 11pm!)
Awesome is about the only word I can come up with.
I have never been one to listen to political speeches, but I watched and googled both speeches from last night this morning (I fell asleep just shy of 11pm!)
Awesome is about the only word I can come up with.
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
Election Day
Today is election day and for the first time I am excited! I keep my political view pretty quiet and to myself especially because my husband and I are on opposite ends this election. I am excited to see the country so excited and looking forward to seeing record turnouts at the polls. This is what makes america so great! Regardless of who wins, this gives me encouragement to see such a great turnout.
Don't get me wrong I will be VERY happy to see the end of the politcal ads! There is nothing I hate more!
There is an important prop on teh MI ballets this year that I have strong conviction over. It is a prop to allow stem cell research from embroyes leftover and donated from fertility clinics. Michigan is one of the few states that does not currently allow this. Seeing that I have 5 embies sitting in a freezer that I will probably never use, it is very important to me that I have the ability to donate them to science. I think it is awesome that even though they probably will never create a child, that they can still be used to find cures via stem cell research. It angers me when I drive by most churches and on their signs is a big Vote no on Prop 2 it kills embroyes. If they only new that these embies will most likely be destroyed anyway because they will not be used in fertility treatments! URGH!!!!! I hope this prop passes, but I am not sure if it will due to the large opposition by most churches. I even had a friend who is a strong catholic call me and ask me questions about IVF because she wanted to understand how the process works and why there are left over embies in most cases. She will be voting yes after our discussion even after she was at her church and during the service they were asking people to pray people will vote no!!!!
I will be doing my civil duty and voting this afternoon. And whatever the outcome, I will know I did what I could and that is all I can control.
GO VOTE!!!!
Don't get me wrong I will be VERY happy to see the end of the politcal ads! There is nothing I hate more!
There is an important prop on teh MI ballets this year that I have strong conviction over. It is a prop to allow stem cell research from embroyes leftover and donated from fertility clinics. Michigan is one of the few states that does not currently allow this. Seeing that I have 5 embies sitting in a freezer that I will probably never use, it is very important to me that I have the ability to donate them to science. I think it is awesome that even though they probably will never create a child, that they can still be used to find cures via stem cell research. It angers me when I drive by most churches and on their signs is a big Vote no on Prop 2 it kills embroyes. If they only new that these embies will most likely be destroyed anyway because they will not be used in fertility treatments! URGH!!!!! I hope this prop passes, but I am not sure if it will due to the large opposition by most churches. I even had a friend who is a strong catholic call me and ask me questions about IVF because she wanted to understand how the process works and why there are left over embies in most cases. She will be voting yes after our discussion even after she was at her church and during the service they were asking people to pray people will vote no!!!!
I will be doing my civil duty and voting this afternoon. And whatever the outcome, I will know I did what I could and that is all I can control.
GO VOTE!!!!
Thursday, October 30, 2008
Getting ready for Halloween
I wanted to post a few pictures from last weekend. We had trick or treating in our downtown businesses. Izzy wore the same costume as last year because it was too cold for her other costume and her last year one still fits and she actually wore it. Normally she won't wear anything on her head but she kept the monkey on the whole time. She even carried her little pumpkin for quite a long time while people put candies in it. Her favorite part was at the end when I let her eat a sucker! Pure Joy.
Hope everyone has a great halloween!
Friday, October 24, 2008
Memory Catching
Yesterday my friend Jen took some great pictures of Izzy at the park. She is starting her own photography business and was practicing on Izzy yesterday. She did an awesome job! I wanted to share some of the pictures as well as the link to her blog
Oh and I am feeling much less sorry for myself than in my previous post. I felt better once I got my feelings out. I really am truely blessed in so many ways and I know in my heart that we have a beautiful and perfect family even if it doesn't get any better.
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
You Never Know......
Warning, this post will be me thinking straight off the top of my head and may be jumbled. I have had so many of these thoughts running around in my head and I need to get them out.
I named this post You never know because this is what I find myself telling myself and others tell me regularly with regards to me getting pregnant. While it is a true statement I supposed I find lately that it is giving me mixed feelings again. I feel like the infertility ghost which was hiding the last year or so because I was so excited/occupied with the joy of Izzy is back again. I look at Izzy and want her to have a sibling but I know we will not be adopting again due to financial reasons and it makes me angry! Angry that life isn't fair and that in order to guarentee Izzy a sibling we would have to spend 30K+ most likely and I am just not willing to do that in this economy. Angry at myself for not being happy with the blessing that I have!
I have tried the last few months to tell myself I am fufilled with Izzy and if she is all we are meant to have that it is okay and we will raise her to be a normal, happy healthy well adjusted child...even if she is an only child. So as much as I tell myself that and know that it is true....I find myself wanting more and feeling sorry for myself again.
For the last year and a half all my biterness towards not being able to concieve has been gone, I have hardly had a bad thought when I see a pg person or find out one of my friends is expecting so why are these feelings coming back?!
So now I find myself hoping/praying for a miracle that we will get pg. I find myself paying more attention to the calendar but can't bring myself to say "we are trying to get pg" because I don't think I can handle the disappointment. Every month when AF would show up when we were trying, was such a blow.....and the 2 weeks after ovulation were filled with such anticipation that maybe this time it will work only to find out NOPE! I don't think I can handle that again....so I find myself playing mind games with myself that I can casually pay attention to the calendar and accidently on purpose have sex those days but try not to be disappointed when nothing results of it....but i know the disappointment will still be there. How do I not let it get to me? Is it that I really want to be pg or is it that I really want to adopt again but can't that makes me more upset?
When I find myself talking to friends about this they always say "you never know" which is true but I feel like it sets me up for disappointment. Even though our infertility was clinically diagnosed as "unexplained infertility" why do I feel like it will never happen so why do I keep the smallest glimmer of hope that it will...........................
I hate "you never know" I wish I did................I want to adopt again.........I hate that it costs a ridiculous amount of money.......okay now for the zinger that I have been holding in, I hate that my parents could give me the money to adopt again but me and dh are way to proud to ask for it.....................
I named this post You never know because this is what I find myself telling myself and others tell me regularly with regards to me getting pregnant. While it is a true statement I supposed I find lately that it is giving me mixed feelings again. I feel like the infertility ghost which was hiding the last year or so because I was so excited/occupied with the joy of Izzy is back again. I look at Izzy and want her to have a sibling but I know we will not be adopting again due to financial reasons and it makes me angry! Angry that life isn't fair and that in order to guarentee Izzy a sibling we would have to spend 30K+ most likely and I am just not willing to do that in this economy. Angry at myself for not being happy with the blessing that I have!
I have tried the last few months to tell myself I am fufilled with Izzy and if she is all we are meant to have that it is okay and we will raise her to be a normal, happy healthy well adjusted child...even if she is an only child. So as much as I tell myself that and know that it is true....I find myself wanting more and feeling sorry for myself again.
For the last year and a half all my biterness towards not being able to concieve has been gone, I have hardly had a bad thought when I see a pg person or find out one of my friends is expecting so why are these feelings coming back?!
So now I find myself hoping/praying for a miracle that we will get pg. I find myself paying more attention to the calendar but can't bring myself to say "we are trying to get pg" because I don't think I can handle the disappointment. Every month when AF would show up when we were trying, was such a blow.....and the 2 weeks after ovulation were filled with such anticipation that maybe this time it will work only to find out NOPE! I don't think I can handle that again....so I find myself playing mind games with myself that I can casually pay attention to the calendar and accidently on purpose have sex those days but try not to be disappointed when nothing results of it....but i know the disappointment will still be there. How do I not let it get to me? Is it that I really want to be pg or is it that I really want to adopt again but can't that makes me more upset?
When I find myself talking to friends about this they always say "you never know" which is true but I feel like it sets me up for disappointment. Even though our infertility was clinically diagnosed as "unexplained infertility" why do I feel like it will never happen so why do I keep the smallest glimmer of hope that it will...........................
I hate "you never know" I wish I did................I want to adopt again.........I hate that it costs a ridiculous amount of money.......okay now for the zinger that I have been holding in, I hate that my parents could give me the money to adopt again but me and dh are way to proud to ask for it.....................
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
Fall Fun
I sure have been a terrible blogger lately. I don't know why I can't seem to make the time to sit down and blog more often. I guess I am wasting too much time on facebook when I am on the computer.
Life has been good lately. We have been enjoying all the fun fall has to offer. The weather has been pretty nice for the most part. This past weekend we were at my in laws cabin up north. Unfortunately we missed most of the peak color, most of the trees were bare...which worked out for Izzy she quite enjoyed playing in the leaves. Hunting season has begun so Izzy and I decided to go up north with daddy this weekend. Since my in laws were there it is alway a good time (although I have to admit I am a bit jealous of all the free time DH has to go hunting, he is gone from about 5:30 am until noon and then again from 3ish till 8) He did make up for it though and skipped hunting Saturday night and the two of us went out for a super nice dinner and left Izzy with Grandma and Grandpa.
Izzy has been changing more and more everyday. She has really started talking more and more and has recently started puting 2 words together. She loves to say "Hi" to everyone and will wave to you across the room while she is playing just to make sure you are paying attention to her. She has discovered Playdough, which was a great activity for the chilly mornings up north and likes to make balls and squish them. Her current obsession is bubbles. This child could play with bubbles all day if you let her. She likes when you blow bubbles and seh carries around her little dora bubble container. She just can't get enough for the messy bubbles! I am not looking forward to the snow filled days where bubbles will not be possible. It also never ceases to amaze me how happy she is first thing in the morning. She greets me every morning with the biggest smile and "mama" (which i am so excited to hear in the morning but I have to admit by the 100th time I hear it at the end of the day it gets a little old) I am not a morning person at all but this kid sure is!!!
Well enough procrastinating I have to get some work done now. Here are a few pictures from teh weekend
Life has been good lately. We have been enjoying all the fun fall has to offer. The weather has been pretty nice for the most part. This past weekend we were at my in laws cabin up north. Unfortunately we missed most of the peak color, most of the trees were bare...which worked out for Izzy she quite enjoyed playing in the leaves. Hunting season has begun so Izzy and I decided to go up north with daddy this weekend. Since my in laws were there it is alway a good time (although I have to admit I am a bit jealous of all the free time DH has to go hunting, he is gone from about 5:30 am until noon and then again from 3ish till 8) He did make up for it though and skipped hunting Saturday night and the two of us went out for a super nice dinner and left Izzy with Grandma and Grandpa.
Izzy has been changing more and more everyday. She has really started talking more and more and has recently started puting 2 words together. She loves to say "Hi" to everyone and will wave to you across the room while she is playing just to make sure you are paying attention to her. She has discovered Playdough, which was a great activity for the chilly mornings up north and likes to make balls and squish them. Her current obsession is bubbles. This child could play with bubbles all day if you let her. She likes when you blow bubbles and seh carries around her little dora bubble container. She just can't get enough for the messy bubbles! I am not looking forward to the snow filled days where bubbles will not be possible. It also never ceases to amaze me how happy she is first thing in the morning. She greets me every morning with the biggest smile and "mama" (which i am so excited to hear in the morning but I have to admit by the 100th time I hear it at the end of the day it gets a little old) I am not a morning person at all but this kid sure is!!!
Well enough procrastinating I have to get some work done now. Here are a few pictures from teh weekend
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