Happy New Year

I have no great words of wisdom reflecting back on last year and forward to next year.

I will just post a picture of my beautiful girl, smiling for my new camera! And a great video clip of Izzy on Christmas morning acting silly!

Happy New Year!!!!!!!!

A Very Merry Christmas!!!!

Finally a good Family Photo of the 3 of us!!!!!


Boxes are so much fun!

We had a wonderful Christmas Eve and Christmas morning!!! Last night we went to my inlaws and had Christmas dinner and then went to church. We then battle kinda yucky roads on teh way home and enjoyed watching Its a Wonderful Life (I had never seen it, little sheltered Jewish Girl I guess) I loved it.

This morning Santa came and brought presents. I got a new camera Canon Elph from DH and my favorite gift was the gift of money to use for the Fitness Class at the gym I have been wanting to take...so I will be a fit/healthy girl next year!!! It starts right after new years and it is 3 times a week. The only bummer is that the only class I could fit in my schedule is 6 am so this not a morning person is soon to become one..monday wednesday and friday for 12 weeks i will be up by 5:15!!! I am super excited though, the class is 2x a week weight training and one day cardio and you meet with a nutritionist once every other week. I am pumped about it!

Izzy had a great christmas a seemed to like her presents. She was awesome at church kept herself entertained but the best part of church was towards the end she was getting sleepy and was sitting on grandpa's lap with her head on his shoulder while he sang in her ear, it was SOOOO sweet it literally brought tears to my eyes!!

Here are a few pictures from last night and this morning

First Potty!

Last night we had a big milestone at our house, Izzy pooped on teh potty!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Granted it was about the smallest poop you will ever see she still did it!!!!!!!!!!!! She was tooting in the bath so we took her out and put her on teh potty and she did it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I guess I need to get her a potty chair!!!! I realize we are no where near potty trained (or even actively trying to get her potty trained!) but i thought it was a big deal!!!!!!!!!!!! I kept praising her and I gave her some Stamps on her hand (which she LOVES) I was joking with DH that when we are actively potty training our kid is gonna look like a tatoo'd freak if I use the stamp method.

I really am not looking forward to actual potty training, but this was a good start to make me start realizing that we are getting close to starting

Any tips from mom's that have been there would be much appreciated!

Thinking about C

We have not heard for C, Izzy's bm since August. I have really been thinking about her a lot lately. I am struggling with what to do for X-mas for her. I am not required to do anything but I am going to do something. I think I have decided on sending updated pictures along with one of those Hallmark recordable greeting cards with Izzy saying Ho Ho Ho. I may also get her an X-mas ornament with her picture in it. I don't want to spend a ton of money but I think that woudl be meaningful for her. Then for the 2 year update I am going to put together a DVD of pictures/video like i did for her last year. It came out really nice and I know she liked it.

We have a small album of pictures from part of Izyz's first year and in it are the pictures from when we first held her and met teh birth family and Izzy loves to look at these pictures and she really is drawn to C and M's pictures. I just tell her their names because obviously she doesn't really get everything yet. I hope as Izzy gets older that I can do a good job of explaining everything to her. My parents really did a great job at this and I didnt' even know my birthfamily so I think Izzy being able to see/hear stories about them will help her even more.

Where ever C is I hope she is doing okay. She will always be in my heart.....................

Survived the trip

Well I survived our trip to NJ and I will start by saying that Izzy could not have been better!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! She did GREAT! The flight out there, she sat on our laps and watched her DVD player or ate her snacks. The flight home she slept almost the whole way since she was exhausted from no nap. She really was a champ the whole weekend. We spent a good part of the weekend at my grandma's small apartment and Izzy did just fine (didnt' break anything and was so well behaved) Even her sleeping was pretty good. She refused to sleep in the pack n play but she did just fine sleeping on the bed with one of us. We had 2 beds in our room so DH and I took turns sleeping with her. She even took naps that way!

My Oma looks AWESOME!!! She is doing so well. Other than the fact that she uses a walker sometimes i would say she looks as good as she did last year...which considering how poor of shape she was in two months ago is just amazing. She baked her famous apple cake and made her famous egg salad. Each morning we went there for brunch and spent some time, then went back to the hotel for a nap and then would pick her up and go out to dinner! I do have to say, I LOVE bagels and lox but I ate bagels /lox for brunch 3 days in a row since that is what was served so if I dont' eat another one for 6 months it will be too soon!!!!!

Overall it was a great trip. I managed to not get too stressed out and I didn't snap at my mother too much even though by the end of the trip I was SOOOOOOOOOO done with her. She is just SOOO overbearing it is ridiculous. She hovers over us with Izzy and she must dominate all conversations.....urgh!!!! I know she does not do it on purpose and probably doesn't even realize she is doing it but it is gets very hard to take after a whole weekend.

I think the highlight of the trip for Izzy was swimming, she was jsut squealing with delight swimming at the hotel pool.

On Sunday we had a b-day party for my Oma at my Aunts house so we got to visit with some family that had never met Izzy and everyone kept telling us how amazing she was, and how well behaved and how they just couldnt' get over how happy she is. We are very lucky.

Okay well back to work I go. Here is a grainy picture taken with my dad's cell phone of Oma reading to Izzy. I forgot to pack our camera, and have to get my mom's card so I can get teh pictures off of it.

Random

Okay so now all of a sudden my child is back to her usual go to sleep great and sleep all through the night.....I took her to Dr on Monday to make sure she had no ear infection, and they said nope you should let her cry it out........ so i got all mentally ready on Monday night and had my ipod by my bed to drown out the screaming.....................and now i don't need it? Two nights in a row of back to her old self....... Weird, but I am NOT complaining!!!!!!!

This weekend we are off to New Jersey to visit my Grandma. This is the same grandma who lost her husband at the end of September. I am very much looking forward to teh trip. We have not seen her in a year and she is doing soooooo much better than when my "Opa" passed away. I am glad that we are going this weekend and now know it was a better choice than spending crazy money to make it in for the funeral. It is also my Oma's birthday tomorrow so we will be having a party at my aunts house on sunday. My Oma will be 94!!! She sounds great on teh phone and although I know she can't get around without a walker anymore, I think she is doing great considering. I am sure it will be a bit of a shock to see her though because when we visited last year this same weekend, she was still able to get around fine, cook etc. She is very much looking forward to seeing Izzy! We are traveling with my parents as well so it will be nice to have Nana and Grandpa to help us on the flight etc. I will for sure be bringing the dvd player with lots of Dora! This will be the last flight Izzy will be on our laps. We are flying in Feb to Arizona and for that trip we bought her a seat since she will be over 2.

The hotel we are staying at has a nice pool so I am sure we will make use of that too because there is only so much time we can spend in Oma's small apartment. It should a good trip. And yes I will be bringing benedryl just in case we have a major sleep issue in the hotel seeing that she will be in a pack n play and sharing a room with us........which is not something that goes over well with Izzy. Yes I am one of those moms that will drug her in a situation like that as a last resort.............

And Again tonight

Okay so last night Izzy did her crying thing again less than 2 hrs after she went to bed. Well I was home by myself and was not going to waste my Sat night by going to bed at 8:45 with Izzy. So I took her out of her room and into living room for a few minutes rocked her talked to her, then took her back to her room read her 2 stories and back to bed she went. She cried for about 15 min if that and went to sleep until about 6:45 this am. Oh and I forgot to mention I drugged her with benedryl before i brought her downstairs. I am not one to drug my child often but she has been stuffy anyway so I figured it wouldn't hurt.

So today she had a good day, took a good nap, was in a great mood overall. Then bedtime. Bath fine, DH read her stories and put her to bed. Less than 1o min she is crying...and crying and crying. So we ignore her she stops for about half hour and then started again. This time cry is very fake more yelling but she went on for a half hour and has just now stoppped. What is happening????? My girl used to go to bed so good, no problem why all of a sudden is she reverting. I htought I was long past the "cry it out stage" I guess not. So frustrating.

I can only image how our upcoming trip to NJ this weekend is going to play into the mix. Not only sleeping in a pack n play but sharing a room with us......

Just when you think you have these kids figured out they change the rules!

A Very Happy Thanksgiving

I had a great thanksgiving! We do it at our house and my folks and Grandma came and DH's parents. We had lots of yummy food and company. The highlight of day by far was watching all the parents and my grandma play Wii! I put on the Wii after the lions embarrassed themselves. I put it on bowling and omg it was hilarious to watch the parents figure it out. Once they got it figured out 4 of them played a game of bowling, the players were My Mom, My 85 yr old grandma and my mother in law and father in law. Guess who won..........................My NANA!!!! It was awesome. Here is a picture of early in the day when DH and I were trying to cook, this was Izzy's contribution. And here is one of my in laws playing the WII. I did get my Nana on video but don't have it downloaded yet.

Hope everyone had a great holiday!

What is happening?

Okay moms out there that read my blog I need help!
2 out of the last 3 nights Izzy has woken up about 2hrs after goign to bed (and she went to bed fine like normal) she wakes up SCREAMING, I mean crying so hard she is gagging and coughing! If we go up there, pick her up and comfort her she stops right away, but she will NOT go back to bed! She just continues to scream and scream and scream like she is being tortured. The only way to get her to stop is to put her in our bed (which we REALLY don't want to do!) Last night we tried letting her scream it out for over a half hour but she wouldn't stop and finally I couldn't take it anymore so we put her in our bed. Which means she kicks us all night until we have had enough and in the middle of the night dh puts her back in her bed and she is fine until morning.

I can't tell if she is doing it on purpose because she wants to sleep with us (which i really find hard to believe because it really is very rare that she shares our bed) or if she really is terrified of something or somethign hurts. She has been pulling at her ear a little bit but I woudl be suprised if she has an ear infection. She is a bit stuffed up the last few nights which I know pisses her of, but I don't know what to do!!!! I feel like she is old enought that she shouldn't be doing this but she is. It is shear torture to listen to her screaming like that, and she just goes on and on!

Help, please??????

22 Months!!!!!!!!!!!!

My baby is 22 months today! That is only 2 months away from 2 years old incase you didn't realize that like me! The last year I feel like has flown by SOOOOOO fast!!! In honor of Izzy's 22 month bday I took her to get her haircut for the first time. Nothing fancy or drastic but it needed to be trimmed, the back was so much longer than the sides it was starting to look a bit like a mullet. We didn't go anywhere fancy, just great clips. I would post a picture but I didn't take one since her hair was a bit wild after the cut, it was damp when we left plus it was snowing so it dried all wavy and crazy. But I think overall it is an improvement, and it is still long enough to get in piggies i think.

Okay so for documentation sake here are some of the things Izzy is doing at 22 months

• Loves Dora (Doda) and Deigo (DeeDee) and asks to watch them ALL THE TIME-I think this might turn into an ugly tv battle soon
• Loves to sing the baby bumble bee song mostly because she loves to say "ouch" it stung me, she also likes Itsy Bitsy and will do most of the hand motions, and loves to play "ashs, ashs" which is ring around the rosey
• She is getting pickier at meal time, she used to eat whatever we put in front of her but we have had several dinner's lately where she has refused to eat what is in front of her even when we know she will like it.
• She can have the occational trantrum and it is actually pretty funny to watch her throw herself on the floor and roll around and whine when she doesn't get what she wants.....terrible 2's are on their way I think
• She seems to love our cat recently and will talk about going home to Kiki when we are out, and she likes to make nice ("ni") to her and so far they get along well
• She has a definate sweet tooth, loves fruit snacks, chocolate and all the cookies she gets especially when she is with nana
• She asks for you to kiss her boo boo if she has one and will happily kiss yours if you say you have one

This kid is so happy and full of life I just can't get enough (except for the rare day when I have and if i have to hear mama, mama, mama one more time I feel like I am going to burst...is that bad?)

Happy 22 months my sweet sweet girl! Can't wait for the next 22 months!

Survived Hunting Season

Well hunting season is offically over for DH and I am so glad!!! Don't get me wrong I am very supportive of my husband and realize that he has been a hunter for a lot longer than he has known me and he will continue to be one...but the selfish part of me hates the thought that he gets all this vacation time from work and us..........

Actually this year it was much easier than last year as Izzy and her routine are much easier to manage than a year ago. We are definately blessed with a very easy going, good sleeping kid. She just goes with the flow 99% of the time.

That being said I am happy to have my husband home. Until May when he goes fishing for a week :)

Sick and Tired

Man am I dragging today! I have been fighting off a cold since the weekend that doesn't seem to want to come on full blast or go away, just kinda hanging around. Then on top of it now Izzy is sick! She came down with a congestion and a fever yesterday, started with waking up in middle of night sunday, then she had a fever yesterday so I stayed home with her all day. And last night she had an awful night. I basically had her in bed with me in teh spare bed from 2am till 6:30 this morning. What a restless night sleep for both of us. I don't know how parents share a bed with their kids, maybe it is just because Iz is not used to sharing a bed but she is horrible, moves constantly (even when asleep) and takes up more room then what would seem physcially possible for a little person! I am exhasuted!!!!

One of the things I find challenging about parenthood is deciding when to take her to the dr. My gut tells me it is just a cold and a low grade fever, but I am going out of town tomorrow on a business trip until friday and Iz will be with our sitter tomorrow and then my mom thurs and DH's mom Friday. So do I take her to the doctor this afternoon or tomorrow morning just to make sure it is not an ear infection...or do I just let it ride its course. I don't know why I have such trouble with this. I just called the Dr office and left a message with the nurse, waiting for a call back. She seemed a bit better this morning, really stuffy but her fever was gone, but my mom just called and her fever (low grade just under 1o1) is back now...

Having a sick kid with a stuffed up nose is the worst, there is virtually nothing I can do for her to help her. Can't really give her any meds other than tylenol or motrin which isn't going to help her congestion. Poor kid. And why does this always happen with either I or DH will be gone? Murphy's law I suppose.

UPDATE****I took her to the Dr, no ear infection and she seemed in a good mood when we got home just stuffed up. Well I put her to bed an hour ago and she is already awake and sounds AWFUL!!!!! How did she get so much worse in an hour, she now has a horrible sounding cough.......it is going to be a long night poor kid. I am already feeling guilty for leaving tomorrow and thinking about staying home from work and just leaving in time to go to the airport for my 5:00 flight...

Proud to Be an American!

I don't know about anyone else but i am SOOOO proud to be an American this morning! All of the reasons I have hated politicals or been apathetic towards politics disappeared yesterday! To see this country come out in record numbers, to listen to both McCain and Obama's speeches, truely moving!!!! I have never been as proud as I am today to be an American. To see the rest of the worlds reaction to the election results is truely inspiring, not only is our country excited for the future, but the rest of the world is as well!

I have never been one to listen to political speeches, but I watched and googled both speeches from last night this morning (I fell asleep just shy of 11pm!)

Awesome is about the only word I can come up with.

Election Day

Today is election day and for the first time I am excited! I keep my political view pretty quiet and to myself especially because my husband and I are on opposite ends this election. I am excited to see the country so excited and looking forward to seeing record turnouts at the polls. This is what makes america so great! Regardless of who wins, this gives me encouragement to see such a great turnout.

Don't get me wrong I will be VERY happy to see the end of the politcal ads! There is nothing I hate more!

There is an important prop on teh MI ballets this year that I have strong conviction over. It is a prop to allow stem cell research from embroyes leftover and donated from fertility clinics. Michigan is one of the few states that does not currently allow this. Seeing that I have 5 embies sitting in a freezer that I will probably never use, it is very important to me that I have the ability to donate them to science. I think it is awesome that even though they probably will never create a child, that they can still be used to find cures via stem cell research. It angers me when I drive by most churches and on their signs is a big Vote no on Prop 2 it kills embroyes. If they only new that these embies will most likely be destroyed anyway because they will not be used in fertility treatments! URGH!!!!! I hope this prop passes, but I am not sure if it will due to the large opposition by most churches. I even had a friend who is a strong catholic call me and ask me questions about IVF because she wanted to understand how the process works and why there are left over embies in most cases. She will be voting yes after our discussion even after she was at her church and during the service they were asking people to pray people will vote no!!!!

I will be doing my civil duty and voting this afternoon. And whatever the outcome, I will know I did what I could and that is all I can control.

GO VOTE!!!!

Getting ready for Halloween

I wanted to post a few pictures from last weekend. We had trick or treating in our downtown businesses. Izzy wore the same costume as last year because it was too cold for her other costume and her last year one still fits and she actually wore it. Normally she won't wear anything on her head but she kept the monkey on the whole time. She even carried her little pumpkin for quite a long time while people put candies in it. Her favorite part was at the end when I let her eat a sucker! Pure Joy.

Hope everyone has a great halloween!

Memory Catching

Yesterday my friend Jen took some great pictures of Izzy at the park. She is starting her own photography business and was practicing on Izzy yesterday. She did an awesome job! I wanted to share some of the pictures as well as the link to her blog

http://memorycatching.blogspot.com/

Oh and I am feeling much less sorry for myself than in my previous post. I felt better once I got my feelings out. I really am truely blessed in so many ways and I know in my heart that we have a beautiful and perfect family even if it doesn't get any better.

You Never Know......

Warning, this post will be me thinking straight off the top of my head and may be jumbled. I have had so many of these thoughts running around in my head and I need to get them out.

I named this post You never know because this is what I find myself telling myself and others tell me regularly with regards to me getting pregnant. While it is a true statement I supposed I find lately that it is giving me mixed feelings again. I feel like the infertility ghost which was hiding the last year or so because I was so excited/occupied with the joy of Izzy is back again. I look at Izzy and want her to have a sibling but I know we will not be adopting again due to financial reasons and it makes me angry! Angry that life isn't fair and that in order to guarentee Izzy a sibling we would have to spend 30K+ most likely and I am just not willing to do that in this economy. Angry at myself for not being happy with the blessing that I have!

I have tried the last few months to tell myself I am fufilled with Izzy and if she is all we are meant to have that it is okay and we will raise her to be a normal, happy healthy well adjusted child...even if she is an only child. So as much as I tell myself that and know that it is true....I find myself wanting more and feeling sorry for myself again.

For the last year and a half all my biterness towards not being able to concieve has been gone, I have hardly had a bad thought when I see a pg person or find out one of my friends is expecting so why are these feelings coming back?!

So now I find myself hoping/praying for a miracle that we will get pg. I find myself paying more attention to the calendar but can't bring myself to say "we are trying to get pg" because I don't think I can handle the disappointment. Every month when AF would show up when we were trying, was such a blow.....and the 2 weeks after ovulation were filled with such anticipation that maybe this time it will work only to find out NOPE! I don't think I can handle that again....so I find myself playing mind games with myself that I can casually pay attention to the calendar and accidently on purpose have sex those days but try not to be disappointed when nothing results of it....but i know the disappointment will still be there. How do I not let it get to me? Is it that I really want to be pg or is it that I really want to adopt again but can't that makes me more upset?

When I find myself talking to friends about this they always say "you never know" which is true but I feel like it sets me up for disappointment. Even though our infertility was clinically diagnosed as "unexplained infertility" why do I feel like it will never happen so why do I keep the smallest glimmer of hope that it will...........................

I hate "you never know" I wish I did................I want to adopt again.........I hate that it costs a ridiculous amount of money.......okay now for the zinger that I have been holding in, I hate that my parents could give me the money to adopt again but me and dh are way to proud to ask for it.....................

Fall Fun

I sure have been a terrible blogger lately. I don't know why I can't seem to make the time to sit down and blog more often. I guess I am wasting too much time on facebook when I am on the computer.
Life has been good lately. We have been enjoying all the fun fall has to offer. The weather has been pretty nice for the most part. This past weekend we were at my in laws cabin up north. Unfortunately we missed most of the peak color, most of the trees were bare...which worked out for Izzy she quite enjoyed playing in the leaves. Hunting season has begun so Izzy and I decided to go up north with daddy this weekend. Since my in laws were there it is alway a good time (although I have to admit I am a bit jealous of all the free time DH has to go hunting, he is gone from about 5:30 am until noon and then again from 3ish till 8) He did make up for it though and skipped hunting Saturday night and the two of us went out for a super nice dinner and left Izzy with Grandma and Grandpa.
Izzy has been changing more and more everyday. She has really started talking more and more and has recently started puting 2 words together. She loves to say "Hi" to everyone and will wave to you across the room while she is playing just to make sure you are paying attention to her. She has discovered Playdough, which was a great activity for the chilly mornings up north and likes to make balls and squish them. Her current obsession is bubbles. This child could play with bubbles all day if you let her. She likes when you blow bubbles and seh carries around her little dora bubble container. She just can't get enough for the messy bubbles! I am not looking forward to the snow filled days where bubbles will not be possible. It also never ceases to amaze me how happy she is first thing in the morning. She greets me every morning with the biggest smile and "mama" (which i am so excited to hear in the morning but I have to admit by the 100th time I hear it at the end of the day it gets a little old) I am not a morning person at all but this kid sure is!!!
Well enough procrastinating I have to get some work done now. Here are a few pictures from teh weekend

Weekend filled with mixed emotions

This weekend was both a happy time and a very sad time for me. Friday DH and I flew to Texas for one if his friends wedding. His friend who I have met a few times has been through A LOT the last year and a half. He had a brain tumor (not cancerous) removed just over a year and a half ago and ever since has been rehabing from the damage the surgery/tumor caused. He has had to learn how to eat again, speak again and still has issues with facial muscles that haven't come back as well as some vision issues. He has been with his now wife for several years and after delaying the wedding once because his rehab was as far along as he wanted it they finally tied the knot on Saturday. It was an amazing wedding and the most beautiful setting for a wedding I have ever been too. There was not a dry eye in the house during the ceremony and their first dance. It was a wonderful occasion.

The other emotion i felt this weekend was sadness. When we landed in Memphis on our way to Austin I got a voicemail that said my grandfather "Opa" had passed away in New Jersey. He was 97 and I knew his passing was eminent but because we already had our trip to texas planned we went anyway not knowing exactly when he would pass. So the funeral was yesterday and I was not there. This broke my heart in more ways that I can express. Unfortunatley since we were in Austin the airfare (even at a reduced berievement fare) would have cost $1000 and I would have had to leave Austin on Saturday to get there in time for the funeral. As much as I so badly wanted to make the trip it really didn't make much sense. I heard the funeral was very nice and that all the grandchildren and cousins made the trip (except me of course) I sent my Oma a card explaining my sadness for missing the event and I had flowers sent to the funeral home. We decided that since we missed the funeral we would book a trip in the upcoming weeks to fly to NJ with Izzy and spend the weekend with my Oma. I know she will enjoy this probably even more than if we were at the funeral, but it doesn't make my guilt and sadness go away completely.

I pray that she is able to handle the grief of losing her husband of 70 years!!!!!!!!!!!!! But is she isnt' able to handle it, I hope the rest of the time she has left on this earth is good.

Long Time

Wow it seems like forever since I have blogged. Our life has been so busy since we got back from our vacation (which was GREAT by the way). Every weekend this month with the exception of last weekend, have been filled with weddings and wedding activities. This weekend we have our last wedding which thankfully at least I am not standing up in however, it is in Austin TX. I am so looking forward to next month when our lives go back to "normal"

It is so nice this week, my younger brother is in town from Florida and it has been so nice to see him. It has been since May I think since I saw him last. Izzy LOVES him. And he does so well playing with her. Yesterday I wished I had the video camera so that I could have captured the pure joy they had playing wiht each other on the neighbor's trampoline. My brother is a big bad police officer and SWAT team member who just melts around his young neice. It is so nice to watch.

On the Izzy front I absolutely can't believe she will be 20 months old tomorrow! I dont' know why that sounds so much older than 19months and that suddenly the reality of her turning 2 is just around the corner!!!!!!!!!!!! I just can't believe it!!!!! Where did the last year especially go? My baby girl is very quickly becoming a little person! Her vocabulary has just exploded the last couple weeks! She is so much easier to communicate with, she now tells us what she wants sometimes before we ask but if you ask her a question she will actually answer you with a yes (she say yeah) or no (sound like "new") She is the happiest kid, she hardly ever fusses! She is so laid back and goes with the flow so easily when she gets dropped off and my parents or dh's parents for the day, night or even the weekend when we have been busy with wedding stuff. She really is the definition of pure joy! She loves to play with her choo choo's and her cars and doesnt' care much for dolls or stuffed animals. She LOVES to bow bow,(bounce bounce) on the neighbor's trampoline and play with the 7, and 8 yr old girls that live next store. We had our second mom/toddler class this week and she is doing great! The first week she really had enough of circle/song time after about the 3rd song out of 5 I think but this week she sat for it much better. Her favorite part of class seems to be the end where the teacher gives the kids some stamps on their hands, she loves her "hamps" and is so excited to show them to anyone who asks to see them. Last night in teh bath I washed them off and she said "all gah" for all gone. She really is too much!

I love watching everyday the person she is growing into and love most hearing her little voice as she explores the world. I had no idea I could love anyone so much!

Anniversary weekend and change coming

I am so excited for this weekend! Dh and I are celebrating our 5 yr wedding anniversary!!! We are going back up North to my in laws cabin on Saturday for a few days, then on Monday we are leaving Izzy with them and heading to michigan wine country and we are goign to stay 2 nights at a B&B that we stayed at last yr. I am so excited!!!!! It is so pretty up there and the b&b has the BEST breakfast!! We are going to visit some wineries and taste some wine :) Eat at a fancy place for dinner one night and just relax! I can't wait!!!!

In other news, I am thinking about putting Izzy in daycare one or two days a week versus having the babysitter we have now that comes to our house. I feel like as she gets older she needs to be exposed to more things. A friend of mine loves where she takes her son and it is really close to my house. They dont' have any minimums so it sounds like I could put her there as little as one day a week. I need to get over there and check it out and see how much it costs etc. Right now i have a babysitter that comes to the house once a week (who i love dont' get me wrong) and then one day a week I take Iz to my moms....I am pretty sure my mom woudl be really disappointed if I took away her day but at the same time it would be so much easier to put her at hte place right by my house. Who knows I need to do some research and see how much money we are talking etc. I am also going to enroll Iz in a mother toddler play/music class once a week. I am already dreading the weather turning colder and not being able to be outside and do a lot of the activites we do now. I am still working the two days a week and really enjoying it. It is a great balance for me. I just switched my work days from tues/thurs to tues/wed so i can pick up my 11 yr old niece from school every thursday. Having had her a full day a week this summer we have really bonded and I think it is really important to keep giving her that time with me, plus she loves being with Izzy and is a huge helper.

So lots of changes coming I think but hopefully they will work out.

Garden Girl

We were up North last weekend at DH's parents cabin and we had such a nice time. Before Izzy I used to LOVE going up there for the weekend, it is really pretty and peaceful. I would relax, read and enjoy some wine and cards with DH's parents. Well last summer when we went there with Izzy I HATED it!! Izzy didn't sleep good and was kinda crabby. But this year, oh what a difference! She LOVED it. They have a very large garden with beans, pickles, corn potatoes, carrots, squash etc. Izzy was a big help at helping to pick beans. She also got to ride on the lawnmower tractor with her grandparents. She just loved all the time outside. And she slept GREAT. The first night it was hard to get her down but once she was down, she slept 13 hrs, and took a great nap on Saturday and slept 13 hrs again Sat night! Couldn't have asked for better! Even the car ride wasn't too bad but on the way home it normally takes 3-31/2 hrs and it took over 4 b/c of construction.

Here are some of the photos from the trip

18 month well check up and Ice cream!

Well I took Izzy her 18 month check up today and the doctor was very pleased. She said she is where she should be developmentally and kept commenting on what a great personality she has and how sweet she is. That makes me so happy!

She weighed 24 lbs (40%) and was 32 3/4" long (70%)

I don't have a ton of time to post but I wanted to post these pictures from last week of her enjoying an ice cream cone! What pure JOY!!!! Yum Yum she loves her ice cream (sounds like hi meem)

Amazing BM!

I don't have a lot of time to blog as I REALLY need to clean up this house a bit because we are having our sub block party tomorrow and will have people over. Since I just put Izzy down for a nap I have about an 1 1/2 to clean like crazy!!! But I had to take time out to post an e-mail from our BM C. I just recently sent her a bunch of the professional pictures we had taken of Izzy at 15 months. She just received them and this is what she said. I have tears in my eyes

Hello!!!!!!!!!!!! First of all, i want to say that i am so thankful for meeting and having y'all as a part of my life. I thank you very much for having such a open adoption with me i appreciate it very very very much. :-} I got the pictures in the mail today. She is soooooooooooooo beautiful!! I can't believe how tall she is. She's very big. She looks very happy in all the pictures even with the one with her little tongue sticking out. HA HA HA HA. Thank you once again. I love them all. I went back to work just this week and it's smooth right now. Tell Chris i say hello and give the Princess a hug and BIG kiss for me tell her that i love her too. I will talk to u soon. Take Care and god bless. LOve AlwAYs, C

How awesome is that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This wonderful woman has been through so much in her young life and I feel so much love for her. It makes me happy beyond words to read those kind words from her and know that she feels the same for us that we feel for her. Our adoption story is such a blessing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

18 months

Well Izzy turned 18 months last thursday! I really can't believe it! She is such a big girl, defintely not a baby anymore! Her words have really started to come along the last month or so . Some of her newest are

Nana

High Chair

Buh Bye

Ball

Dora (sounds like dada)

ice cream(sounds more like hi meem)

Duck

Bubbles

Belly Button (sounds like bebe buh)

She is just such a little person I can't even handle it! She loves imitating what she sees us do, like every tuesday i write the babysitter a check and she likes to take the check book and pen (with the cap on) and write a check. She also likes to file her nails on teh nail file. She is still a pretty good eater, although she is getting a little pickier. Her favorite food is still Cheese, followed probably by hotdogs and ice cream :-) She has finally settled into the one nap routine pretty nicely and will normally nap 1 1/2 hrs-2 hrs which is GREAT. She still goes to sleep around 7 and wakes up between 7 and 7:30 although Sunday morning she slept until 9:30 and I thought she was dead!, she has NEVER slept that late! We have also taken her the last two weeks on our friends pontoon boat and she LOVES it. As long as she has her snacks and gets to go swimming she is a happy girl! She doesn't even fuss much about the life jacket.

I am lacking in new pictures because we had forgotten our camera at a friends house and just got it back on Saturday. Here are a few I have taken with my phone the last 2 weeks.

Book Review

I just finished an amazing book and I had to blog about it. My neighbor loaned it to me. The book is called With or Without You and it is written by Deborah J. Wolf, it is her first book. The story is mainly about a mother and her relationship with her two daughters, one is 15 and the other I think is 12. One of the daughters gets pregnant and decides to place the baby for adoption. I think I would have enjoyed this book even if there was no adoption theme but because there was and it hit so close to home I enjoyed it much more. The characters take on a life of their own and I just loved the writing style. I shed some tears and some smiles. If you want a heartwarming easy read for the summer I recomend it. For those of you who have been touched by adoption I think you will enjoy it even more and pleased with the way the adoption was portrayed. The author has two adopted children and it says in the chat with the author that the adoption story isn't related to either of her childrens adoptions. I am off to search the net to see if i can find a myspace or facebook or blog for the author and leave a comment.......

Terrible Mother!

Well I won the worst mother of the year today! I took Izzy grocery shopping, loaded the car with groceries, put Izzy in the car, took the keys from her and threw them on my front seat, shut her door and went OH SH**!!!!!!! Yep Izzy had pressed the lock button on the keys, so I had locked her in the carseat in the car with no windows open and it is80 degress out!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I called my good friend/neighbor first who is a teacher and home for the summer, she is not reac able...I start to freak out, (at this point Izzy is still happy in car playing with her crocs) My husband is a good half hour away and i am stuck. SO i called my other neighboor and asked her if her mom was at teh house with her daughter and luckily she was so I explain to Lydia the neighbor that I need her moms help. Her mom calls me I tell her how to get in my house, where the spare key is and wait. THIS WAS THE LONGEST 10 min or whatever it was OF MY LIFE!!!! After 5 mins or so Izzy is now screaming and reaching for me and I was doing all I could do to keep it together. What a horrible feeling!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I had a couple people ask me if i needed help, i explained my problem, both of the women said they have done it before, but at the time it isn't making me feel better. Thank god the grocery store is only about 5 mintues away. LYdia's mom came and I got izzy out and poor kid was so worked up and sweaty!!!! I felt TERRIBLE!!!!!!!!!!!!! Note to self, always keep phone in my pocket, (thank god i had done that!) and never close the door with keys and kid in it even if i think it is unlocked!!

Summer Fun

I feel like I never have time to sit down and blog lately. So here I am trying with Izzy playing with her crayons and paper on the floor next to me. We will see how long this lasts. We have been having such a wonderful summer! i love the nice weather. Izzy loves going for walks, going to the park, playing in her water table and playhouse outside and going swimming. I haven't taken a ton of pictures lately, it seems like she is tough to photograph these days she is always moving and won't smile for the camera.

A few weeks ago we went to the Hot Air balloon festival with our neighbors and their two kids and Izzy loved seeing the big baloons. We also live right around the corner from a great petting zoo. Here are a few pictures

I am starting to feel better about Izzy's speech, it seems like in the last few weeks she has really started talking more. I had been dreading our 18 month check up because she was no where near the 15 words they wanted her to be at by 18 months but I would say she is about there now...maybe a few shy but I bet more will come in the next couple weeks. I know she understands everything and she is very social so I am not really worried, I think she is just taking her time getting the words out.

Tagged

Brooke as tagged me here are my answers. I am not technically savvy enough to link her blog in the post but she is Dinkypopsnomore if you are wondering.

1. Where were you 10yrs ago?

June 1998 I was in in college at MSU getting ready to leave for my study abroad program in England. I spent most of July in London and Nottingham doing a packaging study abroad program. Total blast!!

2. 5 things from my to do list

-Go to the grocery store
-Change the cat litter box (yuck!)
-Do Izzy's laundry
-Mail pictures to family in Austraila and to the birth mother
-Figure out what jewlery of my mom's i am going to wear with my bridesmaid dress next Friday

3. Favorite Snacks

Hmm, I love snacks and try to be good lately. Since I managed to take off 15 or so lbs i am trying to keep it off. But I still do snack. Dark chocolate, almonds, popcorn and ice cream are probably my favorites lately

4. What would you do if you were a millionare?

wow, if I had endless millions I would....probably adopt again, take my family on an awesome vacation somewhere. Travel to Greece and Italy. Buy property up North a big log home. Donate lots of it. Pay off my in-laws condo so my Mother in law could retire.

5. Places I have lived

-Grew up in Southfield, MI, lived in and around East Lansing Michigan during college, moved to Oak Creek Wisconsin after college for 2 yrs, bought condo in Racine, WI for 1 year moved into DH's house in Round Lake Beach IL for 1 year and have now been living in Milford, MI for 4 years

So I guess i have to tag people now, I tag Katd,Stillamomma, Rachel,Barely Sane..again don't know how to link it

Long Time

I heard from Izzy's birthmother this week for the first time in about 6 months. I was so excited to see a message from her. After reading her message I was saddened to find out that her and teh birth father are no longer together. I know I shouldn't be too suprised but it still makes me sad because he seemed like such a sweet guy. I hope he is doing well whereever he is. Although hearing that they had split made me that much more happy that they decided to place Izzy for adoption. I still can't even imagine the love they had for her to be able to realize they couldn't give her everything they wanted Izzy to have. The birthmom "C" is so sweet. It was so nice to see an e-mail from her. She wished both Dh and I a happy mother's day and father's day. I hope she is doing okay. I am sure she has had a rough few months. I sent her a bunch of pictures via e-mail and I am going to send some to teh agency as well.

It is always interesting when I mention anything about the birthfamily to anyone of my friends that have not adopted. They immediately get freaked and don't understand why I would want to stay in contact. I don't think you can understand it until you have lived it. "C" has changed my life forever and for that I will be forever grateful. I have nothing but love for her and I hope she continues to stay in touch. I can see C in Izzy everyday, Izzy is a beautiful baby and she gets that for C and the BF! It is so hard to explain the bond I feel with them even if i will never see them again.

My thoughts and prayers are with them always

Big Girl in her Chair

I had to post a few pictures of Izzy favorite new place to hang and watch her shows or just relax for a minute or two. My mom had gotten her this little Dora chair a while ago but Izzy has just recently taken an interest in it. She loves to climb in and out and sit in it and relax. It is so cute and makes me a little sad because I think she looks so grown up sitting in it like a big girl!!!

Wedding's Weddings and More weddings.....

I am in 3 weddings in 3 months!!!!! It is a bit crazy!!! The first one is coming up on July 4th. The other 2 are in September 6 days apart from one another! I was just looking at the calendar for the summer today and it is a little full between all the showers, bacholorette party's, rehersal dinners and the weddings! Don't get me wrong I am so excited for my friends and honored that they wanted me as part of their special day........but holey cow this is getting expensive!!!!!! Luckily one of the dresses(for the wedding on July 4th) the bride purchased for me which was SOOOOO kind! I am the only one standing up on her side and the groom's brother on his side so they decided they would purchase our clothes as a thank you! SOOOOO nice!

I had that dress altered the other week and because it was ordered back in October before my workout plan, she had to take it in 2 sizes!!!! That made me feel pretty good! I am excited now to see how it looks when it is taken in! The other two dresses are not in yet. One I know will have to be altered significantly as well and the 3rd one shouldn't be too bad because we didn't order it too long ago.

I celebrate my 5 year wedding anniversary this summer! My how time flies!!!! It is hard for me to even remember some of the planning and event details from the day. All of my bride to be friends will ask me how we did certain things at our wedding and I can't remeber half the time! I just remeber that when I got to the end of the isle and saw Chris down at the other end, that is all I saw, everyone else just disappeared. That is definately my favorite memory from the whole event.

So back to all the weddings, I hope I can be there for these girls as they plan their special day and keep all my feelings about the money and time commitments to myself. I really am so happy and honored for them.

Selfish?

Okay this post is going to be me thinking out loud. The other night DH and I were laying in bed talking. He says something I myself have also been thinking. He says "I am not sure I want to have anymore children" I said "me either" Then he said "I know that is selfish, because most of my reasons for thinking that are selfish reasons" It was such an interesting perspective...is bringing up an only child selfish? I haven't been able to get this thought out of my head. There is such a negative stigma to only children...that they will be spoiled, and lonely and often brats.....Is this really the case? I read an article on babycenter.com the other day that said often times only children do better in school, and are more successful....finally some postive feedback about only children.

Here is how I feel. There is a large part of me that feels totally fufilled where we are right now. I wanted so badly to be a mom, and I am one. We had the best adoption experience. Why isn't that good enough? I feel so much pressure to give Izzy a sibling because of all the negatives surrounding only children. Not to mention endless comments and questions from family and friends "When are you going to have another?", "When Izzy junior comes along.... " Lets face it, adoption is very expensive. We managed to do it the first time okay but I really dont' want to go severly in debt to do it again. But is it selfish to feel that way.? Will Izzy be severly lacking something growing up without a sibling? How will I answer her when she tells me she wants a sister or a brother? Will my feelings change when Izzy is older and no longer "a baby"? These are all of the things I think about. I really like my life right now, why screw with that? I feel like if we have another child it will change everything and sure I am sure a lot of it will be for the better but some of it won't be. How will I manage being a SAHM of 2?

I feel like most of my guilt of not doing it again is soley based on society's stigma of only children....or is it fear that we would have a bad experience or never get out of debt?

I don't know, and I know we don't have to decide for good what we want to do for a while....I just have been having all these thoughts and wanted to get them out.

I made it

Well DH came home on Sat so I made it through the week. To be honest it really was not too bad. Even with getting sick. I managed to come down with an upper respitory infection/sinus infection. I have been on antibiotics for a few days but it is taking its time going away. I still cough a lot and just feel really tired. I wish I was better at napping when Izzy naps. I tried today but I just laid there thinking of things to do so i eventually just got up.

We had a lovely mother's day. We had both DH's and my family over for brunch. Izzy of course enjoyed being the center of attention. She actually cried when everybody left...it was cute.

Here is a picture of me and my girl on mother's day! Happy mother's day to all the mom's out there!

3 nights down 4 to go

Well I am almost to the half way point of DH being gone. So far it really has been pretty good. Last night I was in bed by 8:45 and asleep before 10! It felt great, i have had a scratchy throat yesterday and today so I am trying to fight something off. Izzy came down with a cold this morning, I knew it was coming last night. She woke up once coughing last night about 2:30 but I rocked her and she went right back to sleep. So despite her coughing and runny nose she was in a great mood and was cracking me up! She is so funny! I love watching her little personality emerge.

I have not been sleeping great, for whatever reason, I have been waking up a lot at night. I think it is because I am ultra sensitive to Izzy's sounds since I know I am the only one there. It also has been taking me a while to fall asleep, last night wasn't bad but when I got up with Izzy at 2:30 it took me a while to go back to sleep. I was hoping i would sleep really well with DH gone because he wouldn't be snoring but I guess I am so used to having him next to me, i am not sleeping as well.

The thing I have enjoyed most about DH being gone is the lack of cooking! I love not having to worry about what to "make" for dinner. Last night I made Velveeta shells and cheese and it was GREAT. I love mac n cheese!!! I am sure Izzy will enjoy it for lunch today. Tonight my girlfriend is coming over and I think we will just get taco bell (my only fast food addiction, i love it! ) Tomorrow night Izzy goes to my mom's for the night (as long as her cold doesn't get worse) adn I am REALLY looking forward to a night off but more so the morning off. I plan on sleeping as late as my body will let me. Then I have to clean the house in a bad way!!! We are having all of our family over Sunday for Mother's day and my house is a mess!!!!!

Other than that not much else new. I bought all the mother's day cards today. I wish they made a card suitable for me to send to C, Izzy's bm. I searched on teh internet and apparantly there is "birthmothers day" the sat before mothersday but I don't know that i like that idea either. I am suprised Hallmark doesn't have mother's day cards for bm's. I have really been thinking about C lately and hope she is well. It has been quite sometime since we have heard from them. I really can't find teh words to describe the special place in my heart she and the bf have.

well that is enough for now, happy tuesday

Getting ready for a long lonely week

Well DH leaves today for his annual fishing trip. He goes every year with his best friend. They traditionally go for a week although last year since Izzy was still a colicky peanut they only went for 4 days but this year he is going the full week. He leaves this morning and doesn't come home till next Saturday!!!!! I know single parents do it all the time because they have no choice, but I am really not looking forward to being a single parent for a week. I think it is especially hard when you stay at home to know that DH isn't coming home at 5:30 so no help with bath/bed or an adult to talk to in the evening.

I know I will make it just fine and I do have some help. My babysitter comes on Tuesday like every week and my mom takes Izzy Thursdays normally and this week she is going to stay over at my mom's wednesday night so that will be very nice to have the night off!

I just hope Izzy goes back to her normal self, we have been a bit out of sorts since Thursday night. She got 3 shots on Thursday that have not treated her well. She was up most of Thursday night after throwing up on me at 2am and was just a mess yesterday. She didnt' throw up but was very tired obviously since she had been up most of the night and very crabby. I think her stomach was a bit upset even though she did not throw up anymore and did eat a bit yesterday. She thankfully slept through the night last night and seems a little better today, she ate a good breakfast. Still a little whiney and is still running a fever, DH just took it and it is 101.8 so I just gave her motrin. I don't know if the fever is still from teh shots or if she has a bug. I talked to the nurse yesterday and she said that the fever and crabbiness is from the shots but her vomitting and stomach issues aren't but who knows. I hope she doesn't have the flu! Maybe I should call the dr this morning.......but I don't want to seem like a neurotic parent although I am sure I am. I don't know about the moms reading but I feel like I call the dr a lot or worry alot and I know my mom friends feel the same way. I really like our dr office but the nurse i always have to talk to on teh phone just rubs me the wrong way sometimes. I feel like she is annoyed with my questions or concerns. Hey I am a first time parent, I worry about everything, give me a break!

So wish me luck this week, I am sure I will be blogging a bit this week. Have a great weekend!

15 month Stats

We just got back from our 15 month check up and here are her stats

22 lbs 14.5 oz (she has been at our around this weight forever it seems like)-50percentile
31 3/4" long -80%

The dr was very pleased with all of her development with the minor exception of her speech. I guess at 15mo they should have between 5-15 words and Izzy is on the lower end, I think she says 5. So the dr wasn't overly concerned but said if she doesn't have 15 by 18months then we would need to have some help. So it made me feel a little better but still a little worried too, but I think it will be fine. I know she is understanding most of what we say and I know she talks all the time, I just don't always know what she is saying.......

Other than that it was your typical check up including 3 shots which she really didn't enjoy. She was crabby before the shots because she has 2 teeth coming in so after the shots REALLY crabby! I put her up for a nap right now so hopefully she will sleep it off and the Motrin will kick in...............i agree with katd, thank goodness for Motrin!!!!

15 months

Well Izzy turned 15 months today! We don't have our well check up with the Dr until next week but I thought I would get down where she is at and what she is doing

-Walking/running everywhere and has been for a couple months
-Eating prettying good although her vegatable intake has gone down lately
-Loves to Eat Cheese, by far her favorite food, she will give up a cookie for cheese
-Says "Cheese" and "hot" but no mama or dada really
-She says boooo if you ask her what a cow says...her version of mooo i guess
-Loves to dance and bounce
-If you ask her who is cute, she will raise her hand
-Still loves her bath but hates getting her hair washed
-Still is taking 2 naps most days but only about an hour each sometimes 1.5 hrs
-Loves to swing at the park and go for walks
-Still loves Dora and Deigo
-No more bottles!!!!
-Understands so much of what we say, it keeps amazing me everday
-Loves dogs
-Wearing 18 month pants and still a few 12 month size and 18 or 24 month shirts

I think that is about all I can think of right now. I love you big girl!!!

Great weekend

We had such a wonderful weekend. The weather was GREAT even though it was supposed to rain it didn't. Friday night we went out to dinner the 3 of us to our favorite local place then stopped at some friends house to drop something off. Saturday morning, I went and worked out and Izzy and DH went to Cabellas with his best friend and son Jack. Saturday night we had Passover dinner at my folks, and they kept Izzy for the night so we could go to a party at a friends house to visit with some out of town friends we haven't seen in a long time. One of the other couples there brougth their almost 2 month old daughter and she was SOOOOO cute!! I got to hold the little peanut and rocked her to sleep. It was so nice. I just love the newborns (when I don't have to get up with them in the middle of the night!) So i got my baby fix for a while :) Then Sun mornind DH and I had the best morning, we kinda had a date morning since Izzy was at my parents. We slept in a little had coffee in our sun room then we walked up to town for breakfast and walked back. It was FANTASTIC. It was so weird to be walking without a stroller :)

Then last night we went to my aunt and uncles for dinner and Izzy was the star of the show of course. Here is my favorite picture of the night of her trying on her new backpack.

Bye Bye Bottle :)

Guess what, so far we have been bottle free 3 nights in a row!!!! We had Izzy down to just one a day at night but Monday night when i was out of town, DH tried to give it to her and she didn't want it. So tuesday she didn't get one although she wanted it because she kept pointing to where it normally is and doing the more sign...and last night i put her to bed without it and no problem. She sleeps through the night!! I am SOOOOOOO excited about being done with bottles which means I don't have to clean them anymore!!!!! I love the dr browns wide neck because i think they work good but they are a pain in teh u knwo what to clean! I think I am seriously throwing the bottles all out since if/when there is a second I would just buy new ones and probably no Dr Browns!

Totally unrelated I am very frustrated with homeownership right now. DH had a Heating and cooling guy out yesterday to give us a quote for a new A/C. Ours has never worked very well since we have been in this house. Well of course the guy takes one look at our old furnace and recommends a new one of those too. So for both a furnace and A/C he quotes close to 10K!!!!!! Well we go to bed last night thinking whatever we will at some point replace both but probably not at the same time and not right away................well then this morning we wake up and it is cold in the house, I look at the thermostat and it is 65 in our house but it is set at 68...I say..uh oh. So we call back the company we had out yesterday and they sent out a tech today. Looks at oru furnace and says some motor part is broken ($212) but if it were him he wouldn't put any more money in the furnace. DH tells me to have teh guy look at the A/C...which he does. He comes back in the house and says...I know what is wrong with your A/C....your compressor is bad you need a new A/C unit........FANTASTIC!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So now we have some serious decisions to make and I called another company to come out to give us a quote tomorrow.

Urgh!! So much for being totally excited about or $10K tax refund...........I can guess where that is all gonna end up!!!!!!!!!!

Dancing video from Easter

DH finally showed me how to download the video off my camera. Check out Izzy dancing to her Disco Duck Egg. She was getting down!

Fun outside

Well we had a GREAT weekend playing outside! Miss Izzy loves to be outside! She likes to walk down the sidewalk and look for doggies, she seems to be really into dogs lately. We played with teh neighboor girls (7 & 8) on their trampoline, which Izzy seemed to enjoy. Yesterday Izzy and I walked up to the park and went swinging, as you can see by the picture she LOVES swinging! I can't wait for summer, it was in teh 60's and breezy this weekend which was great but I can't wait till it is in the 70's! We grilled with our neighboors and hung out which I have missed so much!

On another subject DH and I came to agreement on what to do about a gym membership. I am goign to join the gym where my class was by June at the latest (car is paid off in June WHOHOOH!) the best part about it is by joining we get access to the awesome outdoor pool which Izzy and I will be using a lot of this summer! I am excited. I have to just try to stay motivated active and eat well between now and then. It is so much harder on your own to still go to the gym and work out for the full time. I packed my clothes and am goign today to workout at the little gym by the house (it is not a health club just a gym but I won a 6 month membership there and it is all new equipment)

Other than that not much else new. Just loving the warmer weather and can't wait for more!!!

Random Thoughts

I haven't blogged in a little while so I will add some random thoughts. I forgot to blog about Izzy's cast removal last week, she got it off on Tuesday and was a champ! We thought she would be scared of the loud noise of the saw but she actually laughed when they cut it off, it must have tickled from teh vibration. She started moving it right away and she is back to normal...yipee! The xray showed it is healing well and no more cast was needed! Yipee, I am so glad that is done, giving her a bath with the cast was not so fun!

Other Izzy developments, lets see she still isn't really talking, but she does say moooo(or more like boooooo) when you ask her what a cow says or if she sees a cow. We took her to the petting farm last weekend and the cow came right up to the fence and we could even pet it! She also got to see lots of baby pigs which she loved! Can't wait for warm weather so we can do more outside. It is actually supposed to be nice this weekend so I can't wait. We definately have cabin fever!

Oh and an update on her sleep. I think that night last week her mouth was just really bothering her because she was fine the next several nights. The poor kid has like 5 teeth coming in at one time, i noticed yesterday that I think the top center 2 finally poked through and then a bottom one popped also, so I think she has 2 more on the top trying to make it through also. It has to hurt. Last nigth ws the first night she got up in the middle of the night and I just went up gave her tylenol and origel and rocked her for 5 minutes and she was back out until morning......phew!

This is the last week of my workout class/biggest loser challenge. I am so sad it is over but still might continue on to the next class, I am waiting to see if the DJ comes through with getting me a free membership, if he does then I think I am going to take the next class which is more weight training based and way mor intense, i took the demo class on Saturday and my legs were sore for 3 days!. Still 3x a week only it will be in the morning instead of noon like I do now. Izzy will have to go the child care at the club 2x a week because my mom will not be available monday and wednesday but I think that will also be good for her. I took her there last friday and she did great! She loves being in new places and around other kids. I also will find out Friday at our weigh in if I win.....I hope so! I am hoping to be down a total of 15lbs! I am definately the smallest size i have been in my adult life. I have bought some new clothes lately and all the pants have been a size 8! I can't remember being a solid size 8 ever in my adult life, maybe for a year or so in college.....I am proud of myself! I just hope that if I don't take the next class that I am able to continue working out on my own.

Oh and we got our taxes completed and YIPEEEEEEE is all I have to say. We are getting so much money back and will still have $2500 of the adoption credit to carry over next year! We got to apply most of it this year and get it back which I am so thrilled about! Maybe we will actually be able to afford to do it again...........on that front I think we are both kind of thinking that we will get everything submitted by summer some time....there is still a small part of me that doesn't want to start over but the larger part wants Izzy to have a sibling, as scary and overwhelming as the idea of doing it again is. I would like them to be 2-3 yrs apart so if we wait till end of summer to submit everything and it takes 6 mo to a year we will be in good shape. I really can't imagine having a newborn right now. I know people do it everyday but I don't think I am ready...and neither is DH.

Okay well I guess that is enough random thoughts flying out of my head!

Sleep Izzy Sleep

Well it is midnight and I am up listening to Izzy cry! I don't get it one night she will sleep great, 13 hours straight and then other nights like tonight she is up and only wants to sleep on me or DH so we have to let her cry it out. It is so hard! I immediately think when she wakes up that oh maybe her mouth hurts(since she has had her top 4 teeth trying to come in for the last several weeks) so after one try of trying to rock her back down I go back up give her motrin and origel, and rock her again, after that then I let her cry it out. Then I think, as I am listening ot her cry, maybe her ears hurt and she has an ear infection..........but I think it is probably just seperation anxiety.

I just don't get why babies go through phases she will have good couple months of sleeping good, then she gets sick and it screws it up and now she isn't sick but from what I have read/heard it is probably seperation anxiety that she doesn't want to be by herself...................

I niavely thought that once they started sleeping through the night they just always did.......boy was I wrong!

Oh and DH, is snoring through it all!!! I have the monitor turned to lights only but you can still hear her crying from our room! I don't know how he does i! She is still at it, it has been almost 15 minutes....this is when I start to second guess myself and tell myself, maybe her ears do hurt, should i call dr in the morning and take her in for them to look at her....well i guess we will see what tomorrow brings. Tomorrow night she is sleeping at nana and grandpa's house....i hope she is better for them than she is for us tonight!!!! Time for me to go back to bed and try to go back to sleep.

Oh and on a total side note, it is totally snowing right now and we are supposed to get 3 to 5 inches over night...I AM SO SICK OF WINTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IT IS MARCH 27-28th ENOUGH ALREADY!!!!!

Happy Easter!

We had a wonderful easter! Izzy got to go on her first easter egg hunt with her cousin Jessie and found lots of eggs filled with some candy and fruit snacks. We didn't get a great picture of Izzy in her dress but here is one from my camera phone. We also took a decent family photo. I am also posting last years. Wow what a difference!

Such a big girl

I am just amazed every day at how fast Izzy has grown up!!! I don't know where the time has gone! She is really turning into a little person. She still isn't talking really, which I guess I am a little concerned about but I know she is understanding most of what we say and she is always babbling so I think she will just start when she is ready I guess. She has one more week with the cast and so far has been dealing fine. Occasionally she tries to bite it off (it is kinda funny) and she has realized she can use it to bang on things. Her new favorite is to bang it on the metal pole in the basement because it makes a loud ringing noise.

I am so ready for nice weather, I am sick of winter and sick of being couped up inside. It is rainy and cold today and supposed to get colder and turn to snow tonight and snow again on Friday!!!!! Yuck! Where is spring??????????

Today is my dad's 68th birthday! Amazing! We are going to dinner for his birthday so hopefully Izzy can deal okay she still goes to bed between 6-6:30 so she will be up late tonight. Normally as long as we are out she is okay. Hopefully she will take an afternoon nap, lately she has been hit or miss with that nap and even when she takes it it is only for about 45 minutes which is no wonder she is so tired by 6. This morning she was up really early at 6:15 so hopefully she naps because otherwise she could be trouble at dinner. Last year we went to dinner for my dad's birthday and she screamed pretty much the whole dinner and we ended up leaving, that was back in her colicky days.........boy am I glad that is done!!!

Other than that not much new just waiting for spring! Easter Sunday should be cute this year, DH's mom is going to do an egg hunt for her and our niece jessie who is 10 so that should be cute to see Jess showing Izzy how to find the eggs! I bought Izzy a little easter basket and put a egg that has a little people person inside, a stuffed chick that chirps and a big girl plate. I also bought her a cute little dress at Target, it will probably be little big b/c they didn't have 18m size so I had to buy 24m so we will see how big it is. She will only wear it at church anyway, when we get to grandmas i will change her into more comfy clothes. Ok i am rambling cause I am tired from getting up so early and even teh 2 cups of coffee aren't helping. I should have tried to nap while Izzy is napping...i have never been very good at that!

12 lbs!!!

I weighed in today and lost another 4 lbs so I have lost a total of 12 in just over 8 weeks!!!! Yipee!!!! I think I am going to be the biggest loser out of the other 4 people and I can't wait....although i don't know what I win other than a smaller pants size but I will take it!!!!

Florida Trip

Well we had an exciting time in Florida, some was good exciting and some not so good. Lets start with the good. The weather was very nice! it was in the 70's or 80's and mostly sunny a little rain. Izzy did fantastic on the flight there, she slept for about an hour and a half, woke up ate, and played and then we landed. On Thursday night she didn't sleep so good in the pack and play she was in our bed by about 11 and woke up for the morning at 5:45 so friday was a little long day but it was fine. Izzy and I went for a walk and went swimming at the hotel while DH was at a lunch meeting with clients. We had a great time just being outside. Friday night we went out to dinner with my brother and he just couldn't get enough of Izzy. She slept much better friday night, slept until about6:30 am all in the pack n play. Saturday was my day with Izzy and my brother since Chris was golfing. It started out great, we checked out of the hotel went and dropped off our stuff an Jared's and then went down to the beach for some lunch. When we first left for the beach it was still kinda cloudy and not super warm since it had thunderstormed over night but as we at lunch (outside :) ) the weather started to really clear up. So i said lets go take Izzy across the street to the beach to see what she thinks. So uncle Jared stayed with our stuff, I took off Izzy's pants and took her down to the water in her onsie and let her stand with her feet getting wet. She LOVED it! Here is where it the trip takes a bit of a turn for the worse....

I was holding izzy's one hand/wrist to keep her from falling in the water and she started to loose her balance and fall, so I instictively pulled up on her hand/wrist to keep her from falling..........then I heard a cracking sound like when a joint cracks and she started crying......well she calmed down and I new she was very very tired because it was about 1:30 and she had no nap yet so i thought well maybe she is just tired, but in my gut i was worried about her arm. Well we go back to the car, she falls right asleep and go back to uncle Jareds and she lays down with me to take a nap. When she woke up she really wasn't moving her arm at all so I told Jared we better take her to the ER! Well 3 hrs later (and thankfully DH was able to meet us there) they have her in a splint because they think it is Nursemaids elbow but the dr didn't hear the elbow go back in and didn't see anything on teh X-rays..........so we leave ER and at this point I am a mess feeling so guilty and it was so horrible when she would scream with teh dr was trying to relocate her elbow...it was AWFUL!!! By the time we left Izzy was starving, and tired but overall considering in a pretty good mood. She slept well that night and the next day we were going home. Well we are at the crazy busy airport in Ft Lauderdale and my brother calls to say the hospital had some information for us. So i call them and they say the radiologist looked at her x-ray(there was no radiologist on call on Saturday) and he saw a fracture at her wrist!!!!! I FREAK OUT, i am balling in the middle of a very overcrowded airport. (keep in mind izzy is fine, she is acting like her normal self and clearly not in any pain but I was so sick over it) So we finally made it home after a very long day, our flight was over an hour and a half delayed and Izzy slept about an hour on the flight but was very squirmy and cranky for the last hour or so. We didn't get home until 8pm, I felt like it was the longest day of my life!!!

So Monday I called the pediatrician and after almost the whole day of tracking down her report from the Florida hospital they got us in the next day with teh Orthopedic dr. We took her yesterday and sure enough she does have a fractured wrist and they had to put her in a cast for 2 weeks!!!! She was moving her arm and her wrist ok after they took off the splint but they put the cast on to protect it because if she were to fall (which as a new walker she does a fair amout of) she could really hurt herself. She really did not enjoy being restrained while the cast was being put on but as soon as the lady was done she was back to her smiley self. She is a little annoyed with it I would say but overall is her normal self.

I am feeling a little better and I am trying to keep the guilt from consuming me because I know i didn't do it on purpose and it was an accident and she is fine. Not in any pain and she will get all better but it is really hard. I laid in bed the first couple of nights and just kept replaying when it happened over and over and over again. It was awful!!!!

Here is picture DH took when we went out to lunch right after it happened. She really was in good mood but looks quite annoyed in the picture. I just think it is too cute!