Happy Halloween!!!!

My girl is Mulan this year. Grandma made her amazing costume. Originally Izzy wanted to wear a long black wig but after she wore it to her preschool party and it was always in her face we decided (i did) that she looks much cuter without it. Her hair right now matches Mulan's perfectly after she cuts it. Here she is enjoying some halloween festivites on Saturday night.

Izzy is pretty phobic to trick or treat tonight so we will see if she does it or not.

Happy Halloween everyone!!!

4 going on 14

I swear we are in big trouble with this girl! She is growing up way too fast and i want to make it stop!!! Izzy has done great at school, she loves it! yesterday i dropped her off and she didn't hesitate...said "bye mommy" and went and sat on the circle carpet. She already made friend at school that sent a note home to me that she wanted to have a play date. I love it! what a change from last year!! I really hope it continues!

Izzy's favorite thing lately is music...my girl is obsessed! She has my old ipod..(and orignial ipod that is super thick and black and white) I put all of her favorite music on it and she will put on her headphones in the car and jam to her tunes while singing at the top of her lungs. I wish i could say she loves only kid music but i have created a bit of a pop star...she loves Lady Gaga, Katy Perry, Taylor Swift, and pretty much any popular pop song that is up beat....Her newest obsession (thanks to the 10 year old next store) Justin Beiber! The girl is obessed...says she wants to marry justin and she even suckered me into a singing justin toothbrush!!! (hey whatever gets her to brush her teeth!)

She has an incredible memory for music...she can her i swear 2 bars of a song and know what it is...it is crazy! I guess she isn't all pop music...my mom has her listening to John Denver, Il Divo and some tenor group...she came home the other day singing halliluigh...

This morning i was on my own to get izzy up and both of us out of the house because dh had to go to work early. On tuesday's i drop her at my moms for the day while i am at work...so i was getting ready, putting on make up so of course izzy had to do the same....she loves eye shadow. then we get in teh car, she puts on her ipod and entertains herself all the way there...i had to take a picture...here is my diva!

I love you big girl. Please slow down a little!!!!

Izzy's first day of 4yr old preschool

(noticably nervous waiting to go in for her first day)

Izzy started 4 year old preschool on Monday at a new school with different teachers than last year. She was at the Y last year and this year she is at a school that is part of the public school system.

She was very nervous but luckily the first day the mom's attend as well for the whole time and it is a shortened day of only 2 hours. The goal of the day was to meet the teachers and other kids and to get an idea of how their days will go. I was suprised to find there are only 9 kids in her class....4 girls, 5 boys. It is much smaller than I expected but I think it will be great for her. She has two teachers, Mrs Walker and Mrs Robyn who have been teaching preschool together for 20 years. I am very impressed so far. You can tell the teachers have everything down to a well oiled machine! They are very organized and very good with the kids.

(coming back to circle time after snack)

I was happy to see Izzy interacting with the other girls right away...last year it took her several months before she really attached with any of the other kids. I think it helps that none of the girls knew each other previously where last year at teh Y a couple of the girls were already good friends going into class having grown up at the Y together....which i think made Izzy feel a bit left out with some of the girls.

Today was her first real day...and the drop off went better than i expected. There were no real tears just a whiney "I am going to miss you"...Grandma is picking her up so I will be anxious to hear how izzy said her first day went. The teachers gave all of the adults a white paper bag labeled "survival kit" and inside was a pack of Kleenex and some hershey's hugs and kisses! Too cute.

Izzy was "child of the day" today since it was her turn to bring in snack so she gets to hold the flag during pledge of allegience (suprised they still do this :) ) and gets to put the date up on the calendar.

She will go Monday, Wednesday, Friday from 9:15 to 1:15 and eat lunch at school every day. I really think it is going to be a good year for her and should do an excellent job of preparing her for kindergarden in the fall. (i still can't believe next year she will be a full day kindergardner!)

I hope you have a great year my special girl!!!!

Birthday Suprise

My amazing husband suprised me last night with such a magical birthday dinner! Our friends came over (and i didn't know they were going to) then chris gets a phone call and then tells me our ride is here and to go to the front door. I opened the door and found a horse drawn carriage!!!! Duke the Horse, Russell the driver and chewy the dog.

They have been doing carriage rides in milford since the winter time, and if you life about a mile from town they will pick you up and take you to dinner and then bring you home. I had mentioned how cool that would be to do and chris delivered!!!! I was shocked! I still can't believe there was a horse in my front yard!

It was FABULOUS! We had an awesome dinner at my favorite resturant, then went to drinks at our favorite local joint and then took our ride home under the stars. It was a night I will never forget!

My birthday isn't until tomorrow but it has already been one for the record books. Totally amazing!

Summer Boating Fun

fishing with Mr A.

away they go!

(getting ready to go tubing)

We are fortunate that we have really close friends that live close by and happen to have a pool along with a pontoon boat. We spend lots of time with them in the summer months. Last weekend we went over there for some boating fun and ran into our other friends The P's that also live on the same lake. They have a speed boat and do lots of skiing and tubing with their almost 6 and 9 year old boys. Well Izzy decided that she wanted to go for a ride on their boat to go pick up the boys and left us on the pontoon.(shocking because normally izzy is pretty clingy espeically around people she doesn't see often like our friends the P's) So away she went. When we came up by them they shouted that izzy wanted to go tubing!!! This made me very nervous and DH a little nervous and he offered to go with her...to which Izzy said NOPE, she wanted to go with Will the P's 9 year old. So my brave little girl hopped right on the tube and away they went! I was shocked!!! She had a blast and said she wants to do it all the time. DH grew up on a lake and said that he didn't even tube at 4! We also had some fun fishing, which izzy seems to like as well this summer.

I really am enjoying Izzy at this age. She is so funny and a joy to be around...i just wish i could slow it all down! She is almost 4.5....how did this happen????

I love Michigan summers!!! If only they lasted a bit longer.

End of the Year Preschool Picnic

(chilling for a few with her buddy Hannah)

fun at the spray park

(Mrs Sian)

(Mrs Molly)

walking with her buddies Hannah and Ava

I can't believe Izzy's preschool year is already over (well almost, she has one more funday friday on friday but her M/W preschool is over). She has done really well at our local Y preschool..they started the year with about 7 kids and by the end of the year I think there were 15. Before going to school izzy did not know most of her letters and couldn't write her name. Now she knows most of her letters and can write Izzy fairly well...sometimes she still has trouble with the Y. She has learned tons of songs, went swimming every week and the last session intead of just free swim she did swimming lessons. I am totally kicking myself for not taking advantage of that all year. She has met couple of good friends. Her two favorite little girls Ashlyn and Hannah are both just about a year older than she is. Towards the end of the year she has gotten to get along well with Ava as well who along who is Hannah's bff since they have basically grown up at the Y.

Today was the end of the year picnic at the petting farm and it was so sweet to see Izzy play with her little friends, some of the girls fight a bit over each other but all in all they were very sweet. It was also sweet to see izzy run up and give her teacher a hug considering lately they have had to pull her off of me. For what ever reason she has been in a very clingy stage lately and cries at drop off...for a whole 2 mins until i am gone. Oh well. We had great picnic and i got to know some of hte moms even better than I had. Some of them were planning to go to the spray park right after the farm (hannah and ava's mom along with another little girl and her mom)..so after the school function izzy and i ran home to change and headed back to the park to join her friends. She had an absolute blast! It was such a change over last year, when she was pretty hesitate. This year she ran all through everything and didnt' stop. Hannah, Ava and Izzy are all only children...which is so rare! I exchanged phone numbers with them today so hopefully we can continue to get the girls together this summer.

Izzy will go to a different preschool, through our school system next year, and her little friends will be moving on to kindergarten. I can only imagine how much Izzy will change over the next year. I really wish most days i could slow her down. My baby is growing up too fast!!!!

Confused

Well i am posting this just to vent about it. I feel so blessed to have our beautiful daughter, i can't believe she is already 4...i really do feel complete about our family....so why is it lately i find myself day dreaming about getting pregnant....which i know is not going to happen..i mean if i can't get pregnant after 5 iui's and ivf, and no birth control after 7 years of marriage the likelyhood of it happening is so slim...and honestly even if i did miraculously get pg...i think i would feel conflicted. I am in a really good place now, izzy is so easy and my job is going really well and i have huge plans for the future...we are also planning some big vacations in hte next two years...hawaii in december, Disney in March and Austrailia in march 2013...so why in the world would i want a baby???? but at the same time i find myself thinking about it and paying more attention to my cycle than i have in years....wtf? I think maybe it is because it seems i know a lot of pg people right now so it makes me think about it. Who knows...i know that 80% of me really doesn't want another child..i just wish i could get the other 20% on board. the other thing i have been considering which maybe a factor is i am considering having a IUD put in because my periods have been aweful lately..bad cramps etc...so i think that makes me think that then there will be no miracles and it will be certain that it won't happen...who knows! I hope this phase passes!!!

Reality setting in...

I haven't blogged about this before, but i need to as a release for me personally...

About 3 months ago my mom told me that her kidney doctor wanted her to meet with a transplant team due to her continuing decrease in kidney function due to chronic kidney disease. She has known about her chronic kidney disease for a long time and has been monitoring it over the years. I was at the meeting with the transplant team and they said my mom's kidney function was at about 19% and that when it gets to 10-15% she will have to go on dialysis or have a transplant. They also told her that due to her past medical history and her current physical state, she is on the borderline of even being a transplant patient candidate since her BMI is 40 and that they would like to see her lose some weight and gain some muscle to better prepare her body for if she can get a transplant. They wanted her to come back in 3 months to see if she has made progress at losing weight and getting stronger. The transplant team estimated that it would be about a year and a half til her kidney function got to the point where dialysis or a transplant would be needed.

Well my mom went to her regular kidney doctor today after doing bloodwork and 24 hr urine to have her kidney function tested....today he told her that her function has gone down to 15%. He did say that levels can flucuate and he wants to test her again in March but it appears dialysis is much nearer to her future than we orignally thought. Another thing we learned at the transplant meeting that while dialysis does help prolong life and keeps the body going, it does shorten a person's life span and that a transplant is a much better option for most patients.

So i think for me (and my mom) the reality of all of this is starting to hit home. I struggle on a lot of levels, i am not super close from my mom..even though we talk everyday...we don't have a lot in common and i have a lot of resentment towards her for more than one reason. Part of my resentment I feel she doesn't take care of herself like she should and it greatly angers me that since the appt with the transplant team she has not taken more drastic measures to workout more and better control her eating. She has done a little but not enough in my opinion considering this really is a life or death situation.

Then there is my guilt with live donors.....there is a party of me that would consider giving her a kidney (assuming i was a match, which i have no clue that i am) but another part of me that wouldn't not only for how it would effect my life (living with one kidney) but because i fear she wouldn't take care of it and wouldn't make the livestyle changes needed to really take care of it...........................how awful is that!

Our whole family has a lot to learn about the whole transplant and dialysis process...and i think the reality of it all is finally starting to sink in..........

Izzy is 4!

Happy Birthday beautiful girl! I can't believe you are 4 years old! You such a special girl I want to capture some of what you are like at 4 yrs old.

You are so happy as you have continued to be throughout your life. You have this ability to share your happiness with everyone around you and everyone that knows you falls in love! I have watched even people who i would not classify as much of kid people, totally become taken by you. You certainly have a way with people. (once you warm of from being shy if you don't know someone)

You LOVE music and dancing. You always request your songs in the car and in addition to some Disney favorites like Mulan and Lion King music, you have started to like some more popular music as long as it is up beat. You like Katy Perry, Lady Gaga, Sugarland and sing along to the one you know. One of your favorite things to do is have a dance party and get in your favorite dress up clothes and dance and jump around.

You have really blossomed with your coloring ability lately and you are much better at coloring in the lines than you were even a few weeks ago. You can't write your name quite yet but you can write your I's very well and you are good at tracing your name if we write the dots out. I am sure before long you will be writing out your name..at least Izzy which is much easier than Isabelle

You crack me up with some of the things you say. You already have the ability to "yes mom" me when I tell you to please do something. If I ask you to do something and you are too busy you will tell me "in a minute okay"

You have an incredible memory especially for geography. You can go past a place in the car once and remember it the next time you go by.I swear you are better at geography than me!

You have turned into quite the girly girl and i am not sure how seeing that I am not exactly much of a girly girl. You are OBSESSED with makeup, and must have over 50 tubes of lipgloss. If you see me putting on eye shadow you insist that you have some too. You often times won't leave the house to go out with out packing up a purse filled with various lipgloss. I think you like to smell it more than apply it although you do wear it quite often. You have told me many times that "I like pretty things, mommy do you like pretty things?". Purple is by far your favorite color and I can always tell at school which project is yoru because it is always either done in purple or has many purple accents.

Although you are mostly girl, you do like to do some activites with your daddy. You love to help daddy fix anything, and he will set you up in his shop in the basement with a piece of wood with some screw started and you will use the screw driver to screw them the rest of the way. Your other favorite activity you ask Daddy to do is wrestle. She showed you how to get on all 4's under him and he will wrestle you...you love this game!

We are so proud of the girl you are becoming. Do us a favor though slow down! Love you Izzy!!!

Izzy's 4th Bday Party

Izzy's party was a success! I think all the kids (and adults) had a great time. Izzy was very clear that she wanted to wear her hello kitty party dress, which my mom bought, and i must admit is pretty darn cute. She wore it at a couple parties in december..a girl must wear a party dress at a party :)

We had the party at an indoor playscape near our house. We had our favorite neighbor friends and izzy's grandparents. The kids all played hard on the climbing structure and enjoyed some pizza and a hello kitty cake from our local bakery that was delicous. By the end of the 2 hrs Izzy was exahasuted but got a second wind when we got home and she got to play with all her cool new presents.

She got her very first remote control car (strawberry shortcake), a make up kit, some new games, clothes, books, a book reader, calico critters and a microphone stand that you can hook up to a audio source. She loved playing with everything when she got home and put on quite a concert with her new microphone. She is quite the diva/rockstar in training. Too cute!

It was a great party and tomorrow she officially turns 4 and I can't believe it!

I have been thinking lots about C lately, and am waiting for the photobook of the last year to come in the mail so I can send it to her. This time of year especially makes me think of her, and how grateful I am and how I hope she is proud of the girl Izzy has become and how very loved she is by everyone she meets.

We are so very blessed!

Bday Plans

Well I am in total denial that Izzy is really only 6 days from being 4! Time goes way too fast that is for sure.
I finally decided and planned her bday party. We are doing it at a local indoor playscape by our house. We invited our neighbor friends and grandparents. Hopefully it will turn out to be fun. The kids range from age from 1-8. It will definately cost me more money than doing it at home but to be honest I think it will be worth it to not have to deal with all 12 kids in my house and cleaning up the mess afterwards.

This year we are also ordering the cake from the bakery. Izzy and I went last week and she picked a hello kitty cake. I hope it comes out cute. it isn't anything super fancy but i am sure it will taste great. Milford bakery makes awesome cakes.

All i have left to do is get party favors and I am thinking of getting the small size color wonder sets. They should work for everyone except maybe the 1 yr olds but they have older siblings so i have no doubt they will get used.

The party is Sunday and Izzy's bday is Monday. I am looking forward to celebrating with my big girl! I really can't believe it! Pictures and her official 4 yr update coming soon

Christmas and other Random Ramblings

I have not been a great blogger in 2010. I would say that i resolve to be better at this in 2011 but unfortunately with all that is going on, I can't promise that other than to say I will do my best!

We had a great Christmas this year. It was very fun to see Izzy get so into Santa and opening her presents. She was so funny on Christmas Eve, she told DH to be sure not to light a fire in the fire place because she wanted to make sure Santa did not burn his "tushie"!!!

As usual Izzy made out in the present department. She asked for Calico Critters, makeup and new Sunglasses and she of course got it all with many other things. Being that I am Jewish she got a few Hanukah presents as well which included the Just Dance game for Kids for Wii which I must admit is pretty fun and it is a great way for her to burn some energy in the cold winter months! Even DH gets up and does it a little with her and he HATES to dance :) The other Hannukah gift she got (and then got some games for it for X-mas) was teh Fisher Price iXL. This little game player has been PERFECT for her especially in the car. It was totally designed well for her age group, i didn't even have to show her how to use most of it, she figured it out on her own. Her favorite part is that it is part mp3 player so I can load her songs to it so she can sing along. Which seemed to be one of her favorite Christmas songs. She LOVES The Chipmunk Song and the Jackson 5 version of Santa Claus is coming to town. She sings at the top of her lungs! We have gotten some great video of her singing and dancing along to it as well.

I am in total denial that she will be 4 in 3 weeks! I can't believe it has been 4 years already. As always this time of year i always think about C, and wonder how she is doing. I did get a brief email from her just before Christmas which was nice. She of course wished us a very merry christmas and the best of wishes. I am working on getting together my packet of pictures and a letter together to send to teh agency for our 4 year update.

I am trying to decide what to do about Izzy's bday party. There is a part of me that really doesn't want to do ti at our house again, but can't come up with many fantastic venues to do it that don't cost a fortune. I better make a decision soon her Bday is fast approaching!

I promise to do a 4 year update with all of the things that Izzy is up to lately so that I document her as she is right now before she changes and I forget.