On Cloud 9

Well, life is just great!!!!! DD is doing wonderful! We are getting each other figured out. She is staying awake more and is finding her mouth with her hands. So far she is super laid back and mellow. She only cries when she is hungry...knock on wood that continues!

So after her next feeding we are going to head to Babies r us to try to get registered. Seeing that we have NOTHING at home, and need everything, we better start getting stuff picked out before our family goes crazy! They are all chomping at the bit to get shopping! It is so cute, my grandparents (first time great grandparents) are besides them self, I have never seen them so excited!!!!! It is so nice to know that our daughter is already surrounded by so much love!!!

We have her first appt with teh pediatrican on thursday for her second pku test and a general look over. We had a little excitement yesterday because she hadn't pooped in 48hrs so the nurse said to get a rectal thermometer and insert it a little to stimulate her rectum (I know TMI) so that was a hilarious event last night, having her with her little tush in the air, she didn't even cry. And the first time dh put in the thermometer she peed all over me and the bed..it was so funny!

Okay well of to get a few things done before she is ready to eat again.

It is Official, I am a Mommy!!!!!!!

Well, as of yesterday afternoon I am a mommy!!!!! It has been a whirlwind week! I certainly did not know when I woke up Monday morning that I would be a parent on Friday afternoon!!!!

Everything has gone SOOOOOO smoothe, it has all been like a dream! Let me start off by saying our baby's birthparents are TRUELY a blessing from God!!! We could not have been sent to two nicer people on the face of the earth. They clearly love their daughter with all their hearts and that is why they have given her to us so she can have the opportunity to experience all the opportunites life has to offer. Words can really not express all the feelings I have for these two wonderful people. They are angels walking on earth. Our daughter will know everday how much they love her and I hope and pray that we maintain our relationship with them. They signed the papers yesterday afternoon and tonight we went to dinner, which was so nice to see them outside the hospital. We had such a nice time. We got lots of great pictures with them and have exchange momentos from our different cities. We also have exchanged cell phone numbers and e-mail address and we feel so good about it. I never would have guessed that I would have wanted such a close relationship with them but now I cannot imagine it any other way. I look forward to talking with them and sharing our daughters milestones with them.

Now on to our beautiful daughter. She is perfect! She was born weighing 6lbs 13 oz and was 20" long. She has a full head of black hair. I can't believe it but she already feels like mine. It hit me like a ton of bricks this morning. Dad is taking a little longer but it is starting to sink in. She is very laid back so far and loves to be held and she loves to lay on her back and stretch out her arms over her head and straighten her little legs out.

Neither one of us slept very much last night as we were trying to figure each other out. I hope we get a little more sleep tonight. Well that is all for now, I am too tired to type anymore.

Whirlwind!!!!

Okay you are never going to believe this!!!!!!!!! We got the packet yesterday of all the pbm's info, everything looked good and we were going to accept it after a doctor reviewed teh medical records. Then TODAY the agency calls, pbm is IN LABOR!!! Then they call a few hours later and say the baby was BORN!!!!!!!!!!!!! We booked plan tickets for tomorrow!!! What a whirlwind, we are so unprepared we have nothing, so thank god for my friend Robyn, she went shoppiing for me and then I went to her house she gave me her car seat and washed all the clothes, so I guess we are as ready as we ever will be. I have talked to pbm several times today and she is SOOO sweet and SOOO committed to teh adoption, her and pbf can't wait to meet us.

Somebody wake me up, I swear I am dreaming!!!!!!!!! I will write more when we get to texas!!!!!

Wish us luck!!!

It is a Girl!

I finally talked to the agency myself. The pbm has had 2 sonograms and it is a baby girl!!!! So far everything I have heard sounds so promising! I can't wait to see the pbm's picture tomorrow. The agency said she is very pretty and very sweet, she is only 19 almost 20. She has a live in bf who is on board with the adoption plan. So we know the pbf is, and based on previous history with the pbm, she is not very likely to change her mind and decide to parent.

So we will see tomorrow what all of the information is....and what the cost estimate for the adoption is. It all seems so good, I hope it isn't too good to be true! The woman from the agency said it is a really good case, and was very excited to call us and tell us about it.

OMG we could be parents in less than a month!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Somebody pinch me because it does not feel real!!!!

OMG We have been picked!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Agency called today while I was with my mom at her doctor appt. So then they called dh. Dh talked to them and guess what.....we have been picked by a bm that is due FEB 18th!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! We will get all of her information tomororw, they are overnighting a packet to us with all the info they have on her including a picture of the pbm. This is not her first child, and all of her other children have been premature so this one could be also, so it could be even quicker!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am freaking out and can't WAIT for the packet to come tomorrow. I am also waiting for the agency to call me back so i can get the scope directly from them because of course dh didn't ask any questions because he would have no idea where to begin!!!! OMG!!!!!!!!!!!! So far everything we have been told does not scare me off and so far feels like a good fit....we will see when i can talk to them and we get the packet.

I could be a mom in less than a month!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Never seems to get easier

Warning, this is me feeling sorry for myself and venting. I promise to snap out of it after i am finished blogging.

Why does it never seem to get easier to hear someone you know is pg? And why is it that the 2nd pg seems to hurt even more then the first? I just found out someone i know is pg with their second in June. The person is not even a good friend or anything but i found myself being annoyed, angry and most of all jealous when i read the news. One of my good friends is due with her second in May and we started trying before they were pg with their first! All i keep telling myself with that one is maybe i will have my baby by May also.... I feel like a terrible person for not being 100% happy for my friends. At the same time IT IS SO UNFAIR!!!!!!!!!!!! I can't even imagine what it would be like to be able to get pg and have a child pretty much whenever you wanted. Dh and I would have at least 2 by now if that were the case. WHEN IS IT GOING TO BE OUR TURN???????

I have been trying not to think about why the phone hasn't rung but it is so hard! I literally jump everytime my stupid cell rings. I really thought that by changing to 100% hispanic we should get a call by now...I know, I know i need to chill it hasn't even been a month since we made that change and I should not give up hope.....it is just so hard not to. I met a girl on line who adopted with our agency 100% hispanic and got picked in a month and the baby was born within that month. Her son is now 1 yrs old and is getting ready to update her info and try for # 2, she said every time she talks to the agency they say how busy they are and keep asking her when she is goign to update her info..................that is great and all but our info has been there for 5 months!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! When is the right bm going to pick us???? What is so wrong with us, we are normal looking good people! Urgh, i hate this helpless feeling. Okay, okay deep breath....no use getting upset about somethign I have no control over right?

On a brighter note, i was grocery shopping at Meijer (like Walmart) the other day and found myself needing to buy 2 sleepers. They are so cute, yellow and white. I like to see them hanging in the closet.

Okay my bitterness and feeling sorry for myself is fading....I just needed to vent a little.

Back to work I go, only a few more hours then I get to leave early because I have to pick up my mom and take her to her follow up Dr Appt from her surgery.

MeMe

Okay katd, I will give this a shot. I don't think I can come up with 6 things as creative as yours... 6 things that are strange about me....

1. I don't like sour cream....my dh and the rest of the world think i am so strange because i don't like it. I can tolerate it in something if it is really mixed up but I can't stand it if i can taste it!

2. I am left handed but, I bat right handed, golf right handed and use scissors right handed.

3. I can curl my tongue 2 ways at one time. This one is a tough one to explain with out showing but i will give it a shot....I roll my tongue, then i can roll the tip of if inward in another roll....not quite sure where I learned this unique talent

4. I have never broken a bone. I have pulled my arm out of my socket 3 times, but never broken a bone. The arm thing is kinda a funny story, the first time it happened i was an infant and i was a premie so my mom was putting on a sleeper and it popped out...., second time I guess i just rolled over in my crib and it popped out...the third time I was about 2 or 3 and my mom and i had gone for a bike ride with me on teh back to get milk. Well when we got home she had to put the milk away and didn't want to leave me outside while she did it, well I didn't want to go inside so I jerked away from her while she was holding my hand, pulled it out and actually had to wear a sling for a while. My grandpa still has a picture of me up at her house of my arm in a sling with a shirt on that says "I love trouble"

5. Man this is getting tougher, I love American Idol, here i am a 29 year old women and I can't get enough of the reality show. Maybe it is because I have always wanted to be a singer, but unfortunately I have NO voice, it is ugly.

6. I like to country line dance....i used to go to a bar in college that thursday night was country night, and had free line dancing lessons. We used to go all the time. I haven't done it in years, but over X-mas i went to a country bar and was so excited to try it again. Unfortunetly, either the dances have gotten much more complicated or I have gotten uncoordinated, because I had the hardest time trying to catch on. Meanwhile the friends I was with thought i was such a freak out there trying to dance with all the 21 yr old kids that the bar was filled with....oh well i had fun trying.

Okay so now i am supposed to tag people or something, not quite sure how to do this since i seem to be blog technologically challenged, but i will try, but i don't think i can come up with 5 that arent' on katd list.

Mike and Liz adopt -mikeandlizadopt.blogspot.com
Infertility Licks-infertilitylicks.blogspot.com
Unyielding-unyielding.blogspot.com
The Trials of trace in adoption La-la land-trials-tribulations-of-trace.blogspot.com
Infertility Island-infertilityisland.blogspot.com

Other then that not much else new, still waiting for the phone to ring...............

Willing my phone to ring!

Urgh, the last few days I seriously find myself staring at my phone willing it to ring! (and of course it doesn't) I think I am regressing......I swear it wasn't this bad a month or so ago.

I think there are two reasons for my new increased impatience.....

1. Seeing the nursery walls and bedding---Yes it gives me hope and makes me happy and peaceful to be in the space, BUT it makes me that much more ready to see it complete with furniture and more importantly our child. I have become more obsessed with browsing baby stuff on line and filling out a wish list at babies r us. I swear I am on that website almost everyday! DH and I had decided long ago that we would not have a complete nursery before we had the baby home because it would make it that much harder if something fell through.....lately I am wishing we could get the crib and get it set up etc...but I also know if I do that it is going to be even worse, I am going to want it even more.

2. Changing our preference to 100% hispanic. Now when we first signed up with this agency in Aug we were told that if we chose 100% hispanic would would get a baby right away. Well we decided to try 50% hispanic knowing that we would change it to 100 by the time our home study needed to be updated in Feb if not sooner, since the agency said we could change that preference anytime we wanted. So after Christmas dh and I talked about it and decided, lets do it. The ethnicity of our child will not change our love or our families love for the child so lets do it. So the day after X-mas day I e-mailed the agency to tell them the change. Ever since then I have become obsessed, thinking that our match is just around the corner!....It is a sickness and it is all consuming, there are very few minutes in teh day that I don't think about it, day dream about it, it is making me crazy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dh and I are such good people with so much love to give. We have dreamed about starting a family forever.....I just want our dream to come true..............SOON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Taking care of parents

I never thought at 29 years old I would already be "taking care" of my parents. My mom is currently in the hospital recovering from Ostemy surgery. It is her 3rd surgery and 5th hospital stay since early September. I have spend countless hours in hospital waiting rooms and her room visiting. It is exhausting. There are 4 kids in my family, me and my younger brother (who lives in Florida) and My older sister and brother who are technically my "step siblings" since they are from my dad (step dad) first marriage. Well my sister is divorced with two kids and my older brother is single but working 80 hour weeks so the burden pretty much falls on me and my dad. My dad has been amazing, he owns his own business (which I work at) so he has been juggling that and going to visit my mom. So the last couple days I go to the hospital in the late morning then my dad comes in the afternoon and I leave. I am glad that I am here and able to help out but a small part of me wishes I didn't have to take the burden all teh time.

We used to live out of state (dh and I are both from MI and our families are both here) We moved back about 2 1/2 years ago so we would be closer to family when we started ours.......little did we know that we still would be waiting to start our family. I am so glad we did move home so that i am here to help etc, it is just exhausting after a while.

Hopefully my mom will come home in a few days. I think we all feel better when she is at home.

First Adoption Dream

Well I had my first adoption dream this morning sometime between when the alarm went off and when I actually got up. I dreamt we were given a baby boy and it was so emotional! Of course it had the weird dream twist, like I think we were given the baby in store versus a hospital but it still felt very emotional seeing what the birthparents (there were 2) were going through and I was more sad for them then I was happy for me. It was very strange.

It is so weird what a small world it is. My dh and I were at our favorite neighborhood bar and grill where we go every friday night and know most of the staff so well. Well needless to say we had a few drinks and I was talking to one of the waitress who had just gotten off her shift and was eating dinner and having a beer with me at the bar. Somehow got in a discussion about the local police department and i said the only time I had been there was to be fingerprinted. She of course said "why were you finger printed" So i say so easily after numerous beers "we are adopting" she then proceeded to say the last thing I expected ...."I gave two kids up for adoption when i was young!" Crazy, so we got to talking and it was so interesting to get her perspective on everything because she is the first bm I have ever talked to. From what I remember of the conversation :) it was so amazing. And my dh, who was involved in another conversation at the bar leans over and told her how amazing she was and thank you! It really was the last thing I expected to hear her say. Small world.

Pictures

Here are the pictures of our newly painted future baby room. I don't have time to blog now, but wanted to get the pictures up.

As you can see we did a chair rail and crown molding. I draped the baby quilt over a step stool. We have the matching bumper too, it just isn't in the picture. We will also be replacing the ugly carpet, but haven't gotten that far yet.

It makes me SOOOOOO hopeful to see the room coming together!!!!

Chair Rail is Up!!!

Well the bedding came in the mail yesterday and i LOVE it!!! It is so soft and sweet. dh also got the chair rail up last night and it looks SOOOOOOOOOOO good. We still have to get up the crown molding, paint the exisiting trim, baseboards and closet and do final touch up and then we are DONE. As long as everything goes well with teh crown, we should be done this weekend.

I got a confirmation e-mail from the agency yesterday that we all set with our preference change to 100% Hispanic. I am really hopeful that we will get a match soon (I hope I don't end up disappointed) When we originally signed up with the agency they said if we chose 100% hispanic we would get a match right away, but I don't know if that is still true now. I know my new years resolution was to not jump when the phone rings but I am finding that even harder now that I have my hopes up for a quick match. This waiting is just so hard!!! Dh and I are really good people, with a strong marriage, great families and SOOO much love to give........I hope some pbm sees that soon!!!!

Do any of you find yourself second guessing your profile and wondering if there was something in there you should have done better. I was thinking last night, maybe I should re-do teh baby's room page now once the room is done, since it looked totally different before. Our profile is an actual scrapbook, it isn't online so I would have to re-do the page and make copies and then send it to the agency to have them swap it out. I wonder if it is worth while doing or not. What do you think? I am sure my need to do it stems from the fact that it would give me a feeling of doing something, instead of being so helpless. I am sure it can't hurt to do it. We will see how i feel when we get it done. I will take pictures and post them when it is done.

Happy New Year!

Happy New Year everyone! I am feeling suprisingly hopeful this New Year (lets hope it lasts)
It feels so good to be working on the baby's room. We should hopefully get our bedding today or tomorrow and will know how well the colors work. As long as they look okay then my husband will go ahead and put up the chair rail and the crown molding that we got all painted. Then all we have left to do is paint the exisiting trim and the closet doors. It is really coming together and I think it is going to be so cute when it is done. The colors are bright and cheery and i don't know I guess they make me happy.

My new years resolution is to try not to obsess when my phone rings..i know it is impossible not to but I am going to try to do it less. I am hoping our agency gets good and busy now that the holidays are over.

Well I am going to go enjoy my last day off of work. The sun is shining so it is time to go out!