Urgh, the last few days I seriously find myself staring at my phone willing it to ring! (and of course it doesn't) I think I am regressing......I swear it wasn't this bad a month or so ago.
I think there are two reasons for my new increased impatience.....
1. Seeing the nursery walls and bedding---Yes it gives me hope and makes me happy and peaceful to be in the space, BUT it makes me that much more ready to see it complete with furniture and more importantly our child. I have become more obsessed with browsing baby stuff on line and filling out a wish list at babies r us. I swear I am on that website almost everyday! DH and I had decided long ago that we would not have a complete nursery before we had the baby home because it would make it that much harder if something fell through.....lately I am wishing we could get the crib and get it set up etc...but I also know if I do that it is going to be even worse, I am going to want it even more.
2. Changing our preference to 100% hispanic. Now when we first signed up with this agency in Aug we were told that if we chose 100% hispanic would would get a baby right away. Well we decided to try 50% hispanic knowing that we would change it to 100 by the time our home study needed to be updated in Feb if not sooner, since the agency said we could change that preference anytime we wanted. So after Christmas dh and I talked about it and decided, lets do it. The ethnicity of our child will not change our love or our families love for the child so lets do it. So the day after X-mas day I e-mailed the agency to tell them the change. Ever since then I have become obsessed, thinking that our match is just around the corner!....It is a sickness and it is all consuming, there are very few minutes in teh day that I don't think about it, day dream about it, it is making me crazy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Dh and I are such good people with so much love to give. We have dreamed about starting a family forever.....I just want our dream to come true..............SOON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
8 comments:
It'll happen!! Remembering that things can change in one second always gives me hope. This will all seem like a distant memory very soon! :)
You will remember as you hold your child that it was all worth the waiting.
psst, will you share you agency's contact information in an email to me? My address is in my profile.
I know!!! The waiting is AWFUL!
I don't know what your budget is or anything, but if you like, I can ask around for you at some of the agencies that my consultant has put us in touch with over the past year. I have spoken with some of them so many times by now that they know me by name. I honestly thought about you when we had to turn down our match last week with the full Hispanic birthmother. I spoke with her agency today and they still don't have her matched yet.
The waiting is the WORST part of adoption (aside from not having any control over anything, LOL). Having a nursery prepared is a mixed bag. It's fun and exciting, but then you experience all the feelings that you're currently going through. I will admit that I often go into the nursery and look at everything (the changing table and the baby clothing in the drawers that were purchased last year when we were matched w/BM). It's a tough road.
Yeah, the waiting is the worst. I hate sitting around feeling like I have no control in when we get a match. After so many years of wanting a child, it's tough to just hang out and hope! The nursery is a tough choice too - I decided to just go for it and do one. At least it kept me busy for a little part of the wait :) Hang in there!
Hi, yes as others say it will eventually happen. I got the thud of our birthmother's packet tossed against our door on a random morning when I had just broken a glass and was trying to sweep it up before the dogs stepped on it...
My friend wants a Latino baby so badly, but most agencies she calls say they rarely have them available. Would you mind e-mailing me your agency's name? (By the time they got their paperwork in you would have matched (-:)
Patti
http://redvelvetcake.typepad.com
pattighezzi@hotmail.com
Hey Lani:) I just tagged you for a Meme from my blog. I hope you check it out, and I look forward to reading what you say:)
I know the waiting is the hardest part. It's even worse than going through fertility treatments in that you are basically relying on someone else to make the decisions as to when your newest family member will be arrive. Sometimes, we shut the door to the nursery so we don't have to look at it. Other times we have it open so we can look and see the work we've done. They weren't kidding when they said it would be an emotional roller coaster....
Post a Comment